Tucker Carlson Quotes

… mortals suppose that the gods are born (as they themselves are), and that they wear man's clothing and have human voice and body. But if cattle or lions had hands, so as to paint with their hands and produce works of art as men do, they would paint their gods and give them bodies in form like their own—horses like horses, cattle like cattle.

Gentle mockery or sharp satire aimed at Christians and their leaders have been replaced by abuse of Christianity itself.

I like to think 'The God Delusion' is a humorous book. I think, actually, it's full of laughs. And people who describe it as a polarizing book or as an aggressive book, it's just that very often they haven't read it.

Even though ripping on those of the Christian cloth is nothing new, edgy, or thought provoking, Hollywood feels the need to do it with each of their religiously overtoned talkies.

Listen to John Coltrane. When he plays 'A Love Supreme,' that guy is totally into himself.

At the end of the day, I always maintain you can substitute 'The Book of Mormon' for 'The Bible: The Musical' or 'The Quran: The Musical.'

I think for us - and for a lot of people in the Church of Satan - we definitely like ruffling people's feathers and poking fun at organized religion a little bit.

Probably they had good reason for omitting it. A profane mind might make a jest of an apostle half seas over, and ridicule an apostolic gate-keeper who couldn't keep his head above water.

MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.

But hey, if that’s too much to ask, tell them to just become Christians—you know, the people who get to go to heaven without having to commit to anything

Exactly who is this God character who is said to be all-powerful yet needs to hire lawyers to take us to court? Isn't he miffed when someone he had always considered to be a true follower turns to the legal system rather than to prayer? Why would the faithful risk making God look ridiculous by losing a trial on Earth when he is certain to win every trial in heaven?

Each religion has got their own way of making you feel like a victim. The Christians say "you are a sinner", and you better just zip up your trousers and give the money to the pope and we'll give you a room up in the hotel in the sky.

Certainly," quoth Athelstane, "women are the least to be trusted of all animals, monks and abbots excepted.

Like if you're Jewish you have to wear a hat, but only in the middle of your head. But it all becomes clear the second that you realize that God is a 12-year-old boy with Asperger's.

I don't blame Bill Maher for mocking religion. I can see why he took the trouble to make the movie. In one sense, it's overdue.

I squirm when I see athletes praying before a game. Don't they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

I'd rather be a born-once hog than a born-again Christian any day.

I think religion should be treated with ridicule, hatred and contempt, and I claim that right.

Me personally, I don't have anything against Jesus any more than I do any of the religious icons. I think they're all pretty funny.

We don't really have to make fun of religion - it makes fun of itself.

The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print.

All religions are pieced together out of elements which seem so at odds with reason that any intelligence laughs at them.

Well, our friend Dirac, too, has a religion, and its guiding principle is "God does not exist and Dirac is His prophet."

The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies. This Bible is built mainly out of fragments of older Bibles that had their day and crumbled to ruin. So it noticeably lacks in originality, necessarily. Its three or four most imposing and impressive events all happened in earlier Bibles; there are only two new things in it: hell, for one, and that singular heaven I have told you about.