Joanna Lumley Quotes

I was learning to track rhinoceroses in Africa and tracked right up on an animal that really I thought was going to kill me.

Alligators and crocodiles are some of the most aggressive creatures on the planet - they'll take down a boat if you come up to their nest.

My first day at MGM they decided to bring this lion out, male, and it was not the best time for him to see me. All of a sudden he thought I was in heat and this lion went into the dressing room, which was just a trailer on the sound stage, and went crazy.

Once I climbed into a mountain lion's cage and she bounded at me and put her paw on my face, but she kept her claws withdrawn.

Gorillas are still wild creatures. That's made very clear when you observe them in nature. They charge and perform other displays that are terrifying by design. But they don't attack unless they feel threatened.

I'm learning that human pressure on wildlife is becoming increasingly dangerous. You've got to be more alert because more animals have been pushed around, wounded, subjected to human harassment, ambushed, all kinds of stress. When they attack, it's totally predictable.

Nothing heightens chaos more than a berserk wild animal right in the middle.

A squirrel attacked me. I got attacked by a squirrel in Battersea Park. They're dangerous. It's rare. I've torn most of the ligaments in my knee. So no football for me. It's early retirement now. I've got a floating knee-cap!

I've been bitten by a python. Not a very big one. I was being silly, saying: 'Oh, it's not poisonous...' Then, wallop! But you have fear around animals.

It seems strange that bears, so fond of all sorts of flesh, running the risks of guns and fires and poison, should never attack men except in defense of their young. How easily and safely a bear could pick us up as we lie asleep! Only wolves and tigers seem to have learned to hunt man for food, and perhaps sharks and crocodiles.

I was once, I think, bitten on the nose by a lion cub.

I like to be a tiger roaming the jungle or an eagle soaring the skies.

If you see me in a fight with a bear, pray for the bear.

If you run from a bear, it'll chase you. And they can run fast.

Apparently, the the only way to kill a lion is by rear naked choke. Personally, I’d just kick it in the head.

If you hit a kangaroo in the street and you have to pull out on the side of the road, it can get back up and murder you.

The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.

When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.

Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you.

If people persist in trespassing upon the grizzlies' territory, we must accept the fact that the grizzlies, from time to time, will harvest a few trespassers.

This is to think, that men are so foolish, that they take care to avoid what mischiefs may be done them by pole-cats, or foxes; but are content, nay, think it safety, to be devoured by lions.

Happy the hare at morning, for she cannot read The hunter's waking thoughts.

Maine should be pleased that its animal is not a waverer, and rather than fight, lets the primed quill fall. Shallow oppressor, intruder, insister, you have found a resister.

A country needs to be able to feed itself, fuel itself, and fight for itself.

I grew up in northern Minnesota on 40 acres of wooded land 20 miles from the nearest town, and so the wilderness was home. It was not an unsafe place. I had that advantage. But there are so many representations of the wilderness being dangerous. You know, depictions of wild animals attacking people. It's like, "No, we kill those animals in far greater numbers than they kill us."