Paul Auster Quotes

The attractive lady whom I had only recently been introduced to dropped into my lap... I chose not to dump her off.

I was the deputy Chairman of the Democratic Union of the Pacific, and we started at 8 I think and I was called to the telephone and to be told there's a coup, the government has been overthrown - it was round about 9, 10 when the Parliament sat they had done then.

One time, a fan jumped on the back of our vehicle, and without noticing, we drove away. I was pretty frightened, actually.

Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.

If the statistics are boring, you've got the wrong numbers.

My knees buckled. It's the last thing I expected

My God. What's happened?

There is only one, believe it or not. I did get knocked up by a baller. A big football player.

There is hardly a more common error than that of taking the man who has one talent, for a genius.

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.

The maid screamed. The Queen gasped. Sophie waved.

The crowd did not dream when they laid down their money that they would see a total eclipse of the Sonny!

I was at a restaurant and I heard this little voice at a nearby table pipe up and say, 'I believe I will have the chowder.' I got up and walked out into the middle of the restaurant. There was Sterling Holloway just sitting there being Sterling Holloway. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I'd have the honor of filling his shoes. I just regret not going up to him and saying hello.

Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.

You can't kill me, I've got a magic... AAAARGH !

Until that afternoon in October four years ago, I hadn't known dogs could scream.

I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.

To see a man slip on a banana skin is to see a rationally structured system suddenly translated into a whirling machine.

Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?” I asked. “Yeah.” “When?” “Right away.” “How?” I persisted. “We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?” He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. “She offered to cook breakfast.

there are many hours and minutes between now and tomorrowand in any one of them-even in a minute,the house falls

I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.

I've often been mistaken for Meryl Streep, although never on Oscar night.

Never use the words 'suddenly' or 'all hell broke loose.'