Jon Stewart Quotes

If I was a bad guy, I probably would be incarcerated.

Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.

Hillary Clinton should have been prosecuted and gone to jail.

When people are breaking the law, they don’t get an invitation to the White House. They ought to be getting an invitation to the big house... This is just an anathema to everything that the civil rights movement was truly all about and what it accomplished.

I'm going to do the time and I am going to do it the right way

When Paul was arrested in Japan for having hash in his luggage, I thought he'd be out that night. But it became really serious stuff when he was kept in a cell. I became more fearful as the days went by.

It may seem a hard task to condemn fellow creatures to long years of confinement in prison, but it is not so hard if they clearly deserve it.

If you seek violence, we will seek to put you in jail.

As a prosecutor, I've been in prisons. I've had the opportunity to see what they're like in America.

Court rules do not cause crime.

Within the realm of the law, we have to be as severe as we can. We will not simply give capital punishment to all criminals, but those who deserve it will get it.

My men were caught by the police tonight. I will probably be going to jail.

I’m sorry, dear, but I must go to jail.

Dogs and their well-being is one of my biggest passions in life. The Michael Vick case brought the issue of dogfighting to light... he knew what he was doing and never deserved to play in the NFL again.

No one wants to be sent to prison, including me.

Beate the dog before the Lyon.

I had gone to jail, but I wasn't gettin' locked up for drugs then. I was gettin' locked up for guns. My moms kept finding guns and stuff in my room and she was gettin' more scared.

Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.

You have an interesting set of morals," he observed. "Breaking out of jail is okay. But steal a car, and you sound totally outraged.

Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of.

Every state and the federal government have laws that protect people from acts of violence, and those laws should be enforced. What I want to see in America is that if you hurt a human being and you bring pain in their life, that's all we need to know. If you did it illegally, you should be prosecuted.

The problem with living outside the law is that you no longer have its protection.

Get jailed, jump bail, join the Army if you fail.

Crime has always been a regrettably consistent element of the human experience.

Nothing so upholds the laws as the punishment of persons whose rank is as great as their crime.