Deborah Tannen Quotes

Love or hatred must constantly increase between two persons who are always together; every moment fresh reasons are found for loving or hating better.

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

People take such an interest in your love life when you have a profile; it puts a lot of stress on a relationship.

I don't think any relationship responds well to pressure.

I think when you're in a relationship, either you have something or your partner generally has something that you're having to deal with.

A boo is a lot louder than a cheer. If you have 10 people cheering and one person booing, all you hear is the booing.

The dynamic between two individuals starts off with everything warm and nice and fabulous and good. Working and living together can serve you quite well, but when it starts to go wrong - oh, boy!

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

I'm dating a very high-maintenance career.

You spend more time with your fellow band members than your girlfriend or wife, and you end up at each other's throats. It happens to all bands.

My pet peeve is when people criticize things when they're just trying to have a conversation.

Any band that you have, any relationship in your life, is gonna come with moments of tension.

I cannot quantify the physics of friendships and do not know exactly how much intense pressure can be applied before these glittery, brittle bonds break.

It's okay to be annoyed with your significant other and feel overwhelmed at times.

They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

Criticism at the wrong time, even if it's legitimate criticism, can be seriously damaging and make the writer lose faith in what he's doing. It's the timing that's all-important.

Impersonal criticism?is like an impersonal fist fight or an impersonal marriage, and as successful.

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive.

Criticism is the seed of divorce, and it develops rebellion in our young.

You can have 100 people tell you how beautiful you look, and one person will say, "God, did you sleep last night?" Not even "You're ugly," but "Did you sleep?" and you're all of a sudden like, "What?!" And the whole day that's what you'll remember.

Marriage is such hard work. And it's full of rage and real human drama.

If we wear our worst reviews like a backpack, they travel with us.

The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.

The critics have been writing me off for 20 years. That's nothing new. As far as I know I still have plenty of fans and sell lots of records. Do I care what critics say about me? No, and I don't read reviews.

It usually takes two people to make one of them angry.