Jeff Dunham Quotes

Here's the miracle: I grew up thinking, 'Wouldn't it be great to write 'Superman' someday? Wouldn't it be great to create my own show, or work on 'Lensman,' or 'Forbidden Planet?' Those were very literally the goals I set for myself, the dreams that I thought I didn't have a chance in hell of ever actually achieving. But it's happened.

Whatever I have achieved in the industry is something I consider to be amazing.

It's obvious that I want to reach Cerrone's win record, I know that's important for my career. Those milestones last forever, even if someone passes you later, they are forever.

Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good.

I can work as a writer, but I wanted to do stand-up.

I just want to be as successful as I can in football.

I always wanted to be on a great TV show and in a Broadway show and have a CD out, and the fact that they happened simultaneously is kind of an embarrassment of riches.

When I was in college, my whole goal was to write for the 'Village Voice,' and I think I was doing that by the time I was twenty-one or twenty, so everything else has kind of been gravy, you know?

I don't like being on television when I'm playing live. I don't even like being on Jools Holland or any of them programs.

Getting a degree, being on Sesame Street... those were like real accomplishments to me.

One day I will settle down, when I have achieved everything I wanted.

All I ever intended was to make a living at what I do. Everything I've achieved since then is above and beyond.

My manager's biggest dream is for me to be on Letterman. She says, 'Oh, Maggie, will you promise me you'll be on 'Letterman?' What can I say? I just tell her I can't promise, but I'll try my best.

Don't just count your years, make your years count.

I'm 31 years old and I want to be part of a championship team before my career is over.

I always had the dream that, once I became No 1 in the world, that if I had a child I hoped I would have it early enough so the child can see me playing.

It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent.

I was on the Johnny Carson show, I believe 114 or 104 times. And aside from those times on the air, I never spoke to him. I never met him.

I was from a little rinky-dink town - to be a model... it looked like a lot of fun. I'd look at the girls, and they always looked happy.

I look at old interviews and things and they say, 'What do you want to do when you grow up?' I say, 'I want to be a producer.' And I'm really fortunate that I was able to do it.

I lived the true American dream, because I was able to pursue what I set as my goals at a very young age.

Before I leave the earth, I'll have released a bunch of albums and a bunch of movies. I'm going to do it all. It's just that I have to strategically position myself on how I do it so that the world receives it.

I had done about 60 television shows, from 'Ed Sullivan' to 'The Hollywood Palace,' before I ever went to 'Johnny Carson.' At the time, that was the showcase for comics. And I couldn't believe it.

I had the greatest year of my career in 2007. It's a year that I'm very proud of.

There can be a progression to the dream; there can be steps to it. When you dissect any successful person's story, it's really rare that it was all or nothing. It's steps, and I just try to remind myself of that in terms of the things that I want; it's like, everything is a step, leading you to where you need to go.