John Cleese Quotes

I think it will be a miracle if I don't someday end up killing myself.

I am not even alive enough to know how to kill myself

Suicide is the only way out.

I never felt like dying was a good idea.

Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.

Thinking about suicide is a potent consolation: it helps us to get through many a bad night.

Suicides aren't heroic in my opinion. And I don't think anybody ever really knows why somebody commits suicide.

I am too busy thinking about killing myself.

Don't untie me," she said, "no matter what happens or how much I plead. I'll want to go straight over the edge and drown myself." "Are you trying to tempt me?" "Ha-ha.

I put the pistol by my head, and say a prayer. I see visions of me dead, Lord are you there?

The suicide does not play the game, does not observe the rules. He leaves the party too soon, and leaves the other guests painfully uncomfortable.

I'm not disparaging suicides when I call them weak, I'm pointing out that anybody who would consider doing a thing like that needs help. I don't think a normal, mentally healthy person commits suicide.

I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.

I can almost understand why people leap from bridges.

It was not as easy to commit suicide as to contemplate it.

You never can tell, though, with suicide notes, can you? In the planetary aggregate of all life, there are many more suicide notes than there are suicides. They're like poems in that respect, suicide notes: nearly everyone tries their hand at them some time, with or without the talent. We all write them in our heads. Usually the note is the thing. You complete it, and then resume your time travel. It is the note and not the life that is cancelled out. Or the other way round. Or death. You never can tell, though, can you, with suicide notes.

It was a spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather.

I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead.

the first thing I did when I made the decision to kill myself was to stop dieting. Let them dig a wider hole.

Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.

It is cowardice to commit suicide.

The man, who in a fit of melancholy, kills himself today, would have wished to live had he waited a week.

Suicide carries in its aftermath a level of confusion and devastation that is, for the most part, beyond description.

There's nothing beautiful about somebody killing themselves.

When people come to me saying they want to kill themselves, I tell them, "What’s your rush? You can kill yourself any time you like. So calm down. Suicide is a positive act." And they do calm down.