Jasper Fforde Quotes

Do it, and I’ll rip your heart out and feed it to your friend. (Julian)

Fang, I think you better stop or Talon might turn you into a wolf kabob. (Vane)

When a man holds you round the throat, I don't think he has come to apologise.

All right," he said. "Since you ask so nicely." "I wasn't asking." "I'm aware of that. The sharp point in my back did make it clear.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Be careful: they have arms, and no alternatives.

There's more than one way to sense violence.

All violence consists in some people forcing others, under threat of suffering or death, to do what they do not want to do.

You touch me and I'll kick you in the rear.

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it!

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

The world is ruled by violence, or at least the imminent threat of violence. It always has been.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

You can't go to a negotiating table pointing a gun, but you've got to keep it over your shoulder.

No matter how nice the company one might be with, however, it is never pleasant to have a rifle pointed at one's back.

When someone holds a knife to your throat it's easy to be scared. It's not hard to imagine what it would be like.

You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Back off or the lizard gets it!

I don't think I'll have to kill her. Just slap that pretty face into hamburger meat, that's all.

We shall try to destroy you. Won't you have another drink?

Weapons are the tools of fear.

There’s no reason to respect anyone’s word in that part of the world. The only thing they respect is force and the threat of force.

Boys, I've just reminded Hubert that I've got his balls in my pocket.

You’re a thug. Now get out of here and keep away.