Claud Cockburn Quotes

This book will prove the following ten facts: 1. A Goon is a being who melts into the foreground and sticks there. 2. Pigs have wings, making them hard to catch. 3. All power corrupts, but we need electricity. 4. When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, the result is a family fight. 5. Music does not always sooth the troubled beast. 6. An Englishman's home is his castle. 7. The female of the species is more deadly than the male. 8. One black eye deserves another. 9. Space is the final frontier, and so is the sewage farm. 10. It pays to increase your word power.

There are people who study germs. I believe they are called Germans

It's funny because if you ever ask anyone in England to try and do a Beatles accent, no one knows what they really sound like. If you ask anyone in America, they would try and give it a go. English people just know their songs.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

I love England from head to toe. I love the weather, the people. I was there in the summer and it was nice. The people are so groovy.

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

It was Nick Willing's intention to make 'Hatter' as sarcastically British funny as he could.

I've always loved English and loved English music and TV shows.

Earnestness makes British people gag.

'One Leg Too Few' by Peter Cook is a perfect sketch. The setting is ridiculous, the language is beautiful, and the performances make the most of every syllable and movement.

People are bewitched into believing that time slips away, and this belief is the basis of time actually slipping away.

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

The nice thing about England is that they actually speak English.

When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.

The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no sense of humour.

There's always this weird dark humor within a lot of Depeche Mode songs that people miss, tongue-in-cheek and also very British.

Nice tights," I snorted. Or I tried to snort, anyway. I'm not exactly sure how, though people in books are always doing it.

An Englishman is content to say nothing when he has nothing to say.

You can laugh! But people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!

An Englishman does not joke about such an important matter as a bet.

The New Oxford Dictionary has declared Sarah Palin's word 'refudiate' to be the 2010 Word of the Year. Palin was honored and said she would do her best to 'dismangle' the English language.

The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.

I just do little jokes all the time and people think I'm serious. I know exactly who Gordon Ramsay is, I know exactly who Gordon Brown is... I just say jokes but they think I'm serious which I think is funny and I think I kind of play up the image sometimes because - whatever - it's just entertainment.

Life always is now, but the form the now takes changes continuously. Most people equate the form the now takes with the now itself, and so they believe there are many different moments.