Alan Zweibel Quotes

Comedy will always be central to what I do, it's just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I guess I was the class clown - with a name like Albert Einstein, you don't hide in the back. I'd read the school bulletin to the class, and I'd add activities and make stuff up. It was good, a good 10 minutes every morning.

I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice.

Comedy is like math - you can check your answer because you know you've gotten it right if you get a laugh. It just makes sense to me. I feel like because I've had to keep that tool in my box for so long, I'm ready to show it off a bit.

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it.

From the age of 4 or 5, I loved to make people laugh.

In fifth grade, we had to write a story and read it in front of the class. When I read mine out, the class were just belly laughing. And I remember being like, 'This is the coolest!' So I want to dedicate my life to trying to make people laugh. I can't imagine doing anything else.

When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh.

I really loved what I was doing being creative and being funny as a stand-up comedian.

First and foremost, I just want to write comedy.

I'm not much of a joke writer.

At university, I used to write silly little sketches and monologues, but never fiction.

I always performed as a kid to make my family laugh and was more concerned with making kids at school laugh than I was about the lessons.

I'm really bad at writing jokes.

I was always writing. I was writing in high school because it was a really competitive school for class clowns; I used to have to write all of my snaps and my disses the night before and then act like I was making it up the next day.

I come from a much freer kind of performance thing, where I rely on my own improv and my own sense of humor.

A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.

That's what comedy is like: You have to force yourself out in the world because you're always one experience away from new material.

Doing comedy was liberating in a way.

I love doing stand up. I think it's a really worthwhile art form. It's so unique in all the things it combines, in terms of it being philosophizing, preaching, speaking truth to power and basic communicating. It's a good way to talk back to the world.

I come from standup and improv.