Jeremy Clarkson Quotes

My main form of exercise is my bike. I don't have a car, so I cycle everywhere.

I do not own a car, and my main form of travel to Westminster and in my constituency is by bicycle. I also take my bike on trains to meetings in other parts of the country, which enables me to see other cities and the other parts of the country.

The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.

I spent a disproportionate amount of my time in a car in L.A. I'm 35 years old. If you add up the hours spent in cars, it would be years.

I hate cars.

Life's too short when you find yourself sitting in a car for four hours every day trying to get from East L.A. to West L.A. to Hollywood and then back to East L.A.

Barak Obama is a son of a whore.

I love public transportation! Who wants to sit in a car and be angry at other drivers for eight hours? I'd rather sit on a bus or train and read a book.

You suck, surprising no one!!!! If bad was a boot, you'd fit it!!!! You're a stupid poo-poo head! I had sexual relations with your mother! Your mother was not that good in bed! You, sir, are a wretched soul! I am rubber, you are glue!

Don't call people names you dirty name caller you.

George Bush hates midgets.

You freaking, flippin’, moronic frat boy!

On November 7, 2006, Cafferty called Donald Rumsfeld "an obnoxious jerk and war criminal".

'Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee! you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vile standing-tuck!

You know, I just want to say to her (Sarah Palin), just very quickly...F-- you.

X-Pac, I feel terrible that you have to come out here and defend the integrity of a woman who has absolutely none. I mean as far as Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is concerned the word honor means jump on her and stay on her. Well, let's spell that word H-O-N-O-R. I guess Stephanie is half of that. After all she is a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom feeding trash bog H-O. And no amount of defending will ever, EVER change that!

I'm dying and all I hear are insults!

... trash talk ... Washington floats on a river of aspersion.

I have a chest full of all the insults, villainies, and infamies a man is capable of withstanding. . . . If you become famous, you will have to go through that.

I was on the tube just before Christmas. and this girl turned round to me and said, 'Are you Kate Winslet?'. And I said, 'Well, yes. I am actually'. And she said, 'And you're getting the tube?' And I said, 'Yes'. And she said, 'Don't you have a big car that drives you around?' And I said, 'No'. And she was absolutely stunned that I wasn't being driven round in some flash car all the time. It was ludicrous.

Why, thou deboshed fish thou...Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie, being but half a fish and half a monster?

Insults are engendered from vulgar minds, like toadstools from a dunghill.

I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.

Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dogshit, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dogshit. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog shits ya!

I was too young to live on campus. I just went back and forth on the bus. Eventually I got my own car and thought I was Mr. Man, so I started hot wheelin' it.