Michael Nyqvist Quotes

Families in which nothing is ever discussed usually have a lot not to discuss.

Being the way I used to be didn't really fit the family profile. I was always loved but if, say, Dad had an interesting business idea I'd be the last person he'd want to share it with in case I blew the lid on it.

I think children in general have a very hard time - at least I did - expressing any pain because I didn't want to hurt the people that I loved.

You are in a pitiable condition if you have to conceal what you wish to tell.

It's a terrible way to live, to be closeted, to always be worried about being found out. To live this double life is really trying.

I've pent up all my aggression, kept swallowing it and swallowing it.

Think about finding out when you're 13 that your dad is not your dad. It's like, okay, take it on the chin and keep going. No choice, really.

I used to tell people my father was a plumber, because that would mean we had a normal life.

My parents are really well intended, and I think their way of dealing with things is denial and guilt. Nobody wanted to talk about it. But all I did was blame myself.

I think that all the anger and cynicism comes from suppressing things that we always wanted.

In the African American community, we are very 'hush, hush' about things in our life.

Every family has that secret. Every family has that thing where you go, 'Shhh, shhh, shhh.'

Because my dad was often gone, I never wanted to do anything that would make him stay away even longer. I became extra careful about what I said and how I said it, afraid he'd think I was angry or didn't love him. And the truth is, I was angry. I missed him and wanted him there.

Sometimes I hid my family connections.

I think cultures of conformity produce vast quantities of shame, both in people who simply can't conform and people who do conform, but underneath, they're not feeling conformist.

Before I got into stand-up, I was a really quiet guy who had all these thoughts, all these things I wanted to say, but there was never anyplace for me to say them because my mom would look at me and go, 'You better not say what you're thinking. You better not.'

I spent 24 years in the closet wanting to talk so desperately about who I was and what I am but too afraid to.

I was drawn to people that were expressing feeling because that was what was taboo in my family, expressing feeling. And that was what I was made of.

Being gay facilitated my capacity for shame. As a child, I carried around this thing that gradually became this big dark secret. When I came out in a newspaper interview at 30 I was expecting the reaction the following day to be like the climax of 'Dead Poets Society,' but actually no one really cared.

I was told not to cry as a kid.

At home we never mention football. Not with my wife, not with my sons, not with my mother. Sometimes they will see something in the paper and ask me what I think. But I say, nothing.

It's been so long since I've let myself feel anger that I don't just feel it. It covers my mouth and I swallow it down, the taste sharp and metal as though I'm gnawing through foilware.

I think it became blurry because I grew up in a very private family. I mixed privacy and secrecy up somewhere along the line. Everything became a secret, and I thought that was how you should live. Lying about everything. The mask I put on as a kid to survive was the funny lady. Then the funny person all of a sudden became harder to do without substances. Substances let me keep the mask on longer. Until it doesn't work anymore and you're just a mess.

He never said "Don't tell your mama." He never had to say it. I did not know how to tell anyone what I felt, what scared me and shamed me... (109)

unhappy families are conspiracies of silence. The one who breaks the silence is never forgiven.