Gary Lineker Quotes

I've heard too many times where people say that I'm this ultra-serious guy. In truth, I've got an extremely absurd sense of humor. I thrive on the absurd - I love it.

A lot of people don't realize it, but I've a lot less success than I've have had success.

A sense of absurdity interferes with my efforts to appear venerable.

I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really need a distinction between them.

My whole life, people have been like, 'I don't know if you're playing or serious.'

All the conscious decisions that I have taken in my life have never borne fruit. Not even come close! So, I am just very happy not planning.

Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions; it's walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too.

I don't take myself seriously. Others should take me seriously, I don't.

I was a dozy boy; I'd like to have been like James Dean, but I was more Arthur Askey - pathetically rebellious in a cheeky, chappy sort of way.

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.

I find it odd that people take me seriously.

People don't expect me to be as funny as I am.

I've been used by women all my life, fortunately.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.

If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me.

I think Rush have always had this reputation, particularly to non-fans, of being an ultra-serious and cerebral group when, in fact, the reverse is true. We don't take ourselves seriously at all. Sure, we take our music seriously, but that's altogether different.

If I had two faces, do you think I would be wearing this one.

The worse I do the more popular I get.

I will take Al Sharpton seriously. And I know him, he's a nice, nice person.

A man will talk all day about the woman he wants, but should he come across that woman, he'll do something stupid like cheat on her with the kind of woman he was trying to get away from in the first place. It's not a lot of second chances granted in the realm of that.

I'm too self-serious for a comedy.

The worst part about not playing is when you think that you are ready to do it. You try to get more minutes, taking the chances, but you end up in a situation where things have not gone well for you for weeks - or for years. That is like swimming wet clothes.

I don't win anything in life, you know what I mean? I was, like, the awkward kid who didn't go to prom, but I did - nobody noticed, though.

Music is never inherently funny!