Terry Pratchett Quotes

If you impose morality on people, they will find ways to circumvent their guilt. They will make offerings to temples - or other places of worship - but also continue doing things that make them feel guilty.

Shaving your head is acceptable. It's when you start wearing toupees and brushing your hair over that things go wrong.

I don't think God cares what you put in your body or on your body.

We can't be guided - because we're so far from it. We've so destroyed it. We're so far from that that we can't use it. I mean, Jim Bakker heard from God. What a good job he did!

I am a good Protestant, and in the full sense of the term, for from the bottom of my soul, I protest against everything that is said, and everything that is done.

The Ethiopians say that their gods are snub-nosed and black, the Thracians that theirs have light blue eyes and red hair.

Mitt Romney is a Mormon, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Even though he talks about Jesus as his Lord and savior, he is not a Christian. Mormonism is not Christianity. Mormonism is a cult….It's a little hypocritical for the last eight years to be talking about how important it is for us to elect a Christian president and then turn around and endorse a non-Christian.

I used to tell people I was 6-foot-4. And with that afro, I was.

The biggest threats to faith aren't anything outside of it: they come bearing the name. It's why I find it especially important to call it out - also why I find it especially repulsive when people who crow the loudest about being Christians and use it as a money-making scheme utterly betray the faith when not on camera or in a crowd.

She was a good Christian woman with a large respect for religion, though she did not, of course, believe any of it was true.

False preachers are worse than deflowerers of virgins.

Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.

[Middleton] contended that the religious leaders of the fourth century had admitted, eulogised, and habitually acted upon principles that were diametrically opposed, not simply to the aspirations of a transcendent sanctity, but to the dictates of the most common honesty. He showed that they had applauded falsehood, that they had practised the most wholesale forgery, that they had habitually and grossly falsified history, that they had adopted to the fullest extent the system of pious frauds, and that they continually employed them to stimulate the devotion of the people.

Look on beauty, and you shall see 'tis purchased by the weight; which therein works a miracle in Nature, making them lightest that wear most of it: so are those crisped snaky golden locks which make such wanton gambols with the wind upon supposed fairness, often known to be the dowry of a second head, the skull that bred them in the sepulchre.

It should not be surprising if people believe easily in a God who makes no demands, but this is not the God of the Bible. Satan has cleverly misled people by whispering that they can believe in Jesus Christ without being changed, but this is the Devil's lie. To those who say you can have Christ without giving anything up, Satan is deceiving you.

You may have orthodox heads, and yet you may have the devil in your hearts.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

It seems like you can't actually have really bad hair or be bald and run for President of the United States.

When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.

Watch out for people who call themselves religious; make sure you know what they mean - make sure they know what they mean!

What would it matter if, for the sake of the Christian Church, one were to tell a big lie?

Not having hair makes me feel like a cancer patient.

Unsaintly saints are the tragedy of Christianity.

He had black hair anybody could see was dyed, and even had one long piece wrapped around his head in that way some men did to fool no one into believing they weren't bald. I resisted a sudden strong urge to tug away that piece and scream peekaboo! at his bare crown underneath.

Yes, it is the precepts of men versus the revealed word of God. The more we follow the word of God the less we are deceived, while those who follow the wisdom of men are deceived the most.