Sandra Bernhard Quotes

I used to want to be tall, and then I thought, 'If I were tall, then people would say I was pretty and not cute.' And then I realized that there are worse things than being called cute.

Do people really think that about my nose? I spent my whole life hating it, so its amusing that people like it!

I woke up one day and I realized I wasn't born beautiful, but my wife was, so I decided to make a horror film about it: what it would be like to be born beautiful.

Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.

I think I always disappoint people, because they always expect someone very pretty. Very done. There’s so much pressure to be thin, blonde and busty. I’m skinny, but even I couldn’t fit into some of the clothes in L.A! In a funny kind of way, I think you create it yourself. I think it’s much better to go with the flow and embrace your body, whatever shape it is, and just be happy.

What Rizzoli thought, staring at her own image, was that she hated Elizabeth Hurley for giving women false hope. The brutal truth was, there are some women who will never be beautiful, and Rizzoli was one of them.

But what we're really trapped by is perceptions. You think you need to lose weight for someone to love you. I think if I gain weight, no one will love me. What we really need is to just stop thinking of ourselves as bodies and start thinking of ourselves as people.

I don't want to have to be beautiful all the time. I want to be able to look cruddy in my weekend sweats, with a pimple on my face and pimple cream on top of the pimple. The expectation to always be beautiful bothers me.

It kind of cracks me up when people say I'm hot because I just think that that's a term that I don't have to deal with anymore.

I always hated my mole growing up. I even thought about having it removed. At the time I didn't do it because I thought it would hurt, and now I'm glad I didn't.

I am an unconventional beauty. I grew up in a high school where if you didn't have a nose job and money and if you weren't thin, you weren't cool, popular, beautiful. I was always told that I wasn't pretty enough to be on television.

Everyone wants to look their best, everyone has dreams of wanting to look like something else. But we are who we are.

I have no right to beauty. I had been condemned to masculine ugliness.

I simply did not want my face to be my talent.

If I have one thing perfect, it's my eyebrows. And my feet. I love my feet. They're like Japanese feet. The rest I would like to hide. Especially my freckles. I feel ridiculous.

I was not considered beautiful at all. Really. And this is what all models say. But I'm still not considered that beautiful in my country. I don't know the beauty ideal where I come from - but it's not me.

Most people ask me were you always sexy and if I said I was born this way I'd be lying.

Although I spent years thinking that I had fat arms, I am now approached by women daily who want to know how they can get arms like mine.

I think that people put a lot of worth into looks. Unfortunately, there's a standard that so many people look up to that is unrealistic for everyone's body type.

I don't think badly of or oppose having plastic surgery. I once seriously thought of it, but I decided to take my appearance as it is.

I'm like every other girl; there are things I wish I could change about my body, but I try not to think about them too much.

As a young girl, I was much more preoccupied by my flaws. Everyone teased me because of my long, skinny neck. To hide my so-called deformity, I was wearing a turtleneck when I was 3! Yet my neck is probably my best asset. At the end of the day, what counts is the entire package.

Height isn't something you can have and just let be, like nice teeth or naturally curly hair. People have this idea you have to put it to use, playing basketball, for example, or observing the weather up there. If you are a girl, they feel a particular need to point your height out to you, as if you might not have noticed.

I think it was the first time in my life I ever felt like I looked “good”. Do you know what I mean? That nice feeling when you look in the mirror, and your hair’s right for the first time in your life? I don’t think we should base so much on weight, muscles, and a good hair day, but when it happens, it’s nice. It really is.

I don't wanna be shaped like a girl. I love being shaped like a woman, and trust me ladies, your man won't mind either.