Hanya Yanagihara Quotes

Every 10 years, I know less about love and relationships. The smarter I get, the less I know.

If you're speaking of love, you really must include the element of uncertainty - and perhaps it's best approached as the art of constant maintenance.

You may not be able to help whom you are attracted to, but you can choose to whom you love and how. That is to say that love is a commitment that your heart and your mind make. It is an active and ever-evolving process, a conscious choice that takes effort and maintenance.

I think anyone can fall in love, if you're open and you're willing, but the real test is sustaining it after all the excitement has worn off.

Love before marriage is absolutely necessary.

A relationship has to be cultivated. There have to be feelings of love for another first. But then you have to really like the person.

Romance is alive and well in America, but the 50 percent who can't make it work fail because of selfishness. It gets down to that. You can't oversimplify it because every situation is so complex.

Trust is not about what you can or cannot do in the name of love but who you are and what you choose to reveal as things progress and evolve.

Real love is more than a physical feeling. If there's even the slightest doubt in your head about a guy, then forget about it. It's not real.

As I get older I realize what qualities are important in love and what suits me. And what I won't settle for.

Real love and intimacy can be much more possible when you're older.

It's easy to get wrapped up in sharing everyday life with a partner. It's fun to get lost in love and romance. It's the best. But holding on to yourself while doing that is the most important thing.

My imagination, my ability to understand the way love and people grow over time, how passion can surprise and renew, utterly failed me.

To be honest, relationships with the opposite sex are the most challenging things I've done. You lose your compass, gravity changes, you don't know what's up or down, you're trying to figure it out. You're trying to make everybody happy, including yourself, and it's just... it's humbled me.

I think love isn't doomed, of course, but in real life, love doesn't always work out.

I think that you first have to understand that our sexuality is a gift that God has given us. Then you grow in that respect and love with your spouse or girlfriend to-be-wife. You respect her! Then you realize you're loving their heart, their soul and you grow together.

Getting married and really digging in with another human being can point out your greatest strengths and your greatest weaknesses.

I cannot just blindly love someone.

Love is an attempt at penetrating another being, but it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.

I always see people tweeting about these crazy amazing things their boyfriend or girlfriend did for them. You shouldn't have to constantly be trying to prove your love when you're in a relationship.

I think compassion is important but love fizzles out eventually. But if there is compassion in a relationship, things can always be worked out.

Love is a component of many different things - the baggage you bring, the moment, what you need in your life, seeing someone as a portal for understanding everything, and all the intensity that brings. It's not something to count on and act like it's a stable thing.

Every relationship probably has, at its inception, a hundred things that you could pick on and divert you from it, but the feeling is there. You figure out a way to make it work.

We all have different timetables in reaching and realizing that being in healthy partnership is better than being on our own.

When it comes to relationships, it's nice to have something that is your own and not everyone else's. That's not part of my job. I never stood up on a podium and said, 'Vote for me - I'm perfect. I'll be this for you and never do anything wrong.'