David Cross Quotes

I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.

I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.

If you purposefully look to shock people, it isn't funny. That's what 50 million dollar Hollywood comedies do ; try to be shocking and dirty.

I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. [...] There's no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It's like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David Cross' type of standup.

It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films that deal with issues. It might be better to just make escapist comedies that don't touch on any issues. The people just get a cool lemonade, and then they go out refreshed, they enjoy themselves, they forget how awful things are and it helps them - it strengthens them to get through the day.

I wanted people who wouldn't become too worried about casualties. One always should be concerned about casualties, but the risk of incurring casualties can't be allowed to affect decisions, unless it's evident casualties will be prohibitively heavy. There may be no safe way to write this.

I make funny shows and put a positive message out there, showing people who have body image issues that... you don't have to look a certain way.

I think there's a fundamental moral issue about whether it's right for a machine to decide to kill a person. It's bad enough that people are deciding to kill people, but at least they have perhaps some moral argument that they're doing it to ultimately defend their families or prevent some greater evil.

People like to say, “Well, you’re a celebrity. You should really pick a cause.” I felt that’s like telling a doctor, “Well, you should focus on one area of the body.” Current issues, global issues, political issues, women’s issues—whatever one you want to talk about. It’s systemic, you know?

I'm worried that too many people, both in politics and out, don't appreciate the seriousness of the threat to American security and the evil of the enemy that faces us -more evil or as evil as Nazism and probably more dangerous than the Soviet communists we fought during the long Cold War.

But I also want to change the dynamics of this debate, which has kept us gridlocked into positions which caused people to shoot at abortion clinics and other Americans to view it as the only issue in American politics, ... There are areas we can agree on. ... We need to work together to eliminate abortion.

People see a big dude and they hear that high pitched voice or "Eglasias with an 'I'" and love it because they can relate and go "I know that person!".

I have a night off on Halloween. It's Halloween for me every night. Let everybody else be Ozzy for the night. People go out dressed as me.

I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.

I enjoy being me; I always have done. I've seen people where it rules their lives, you know, who want to be thinner or have bigger boobs, and it wears them down. And I don't want that in my life. It's never been an issue - at least, I've never hung out with the sort of horrible people who would make it an issue. I have insecurities, of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.

Too many people are stuck on sickness benefits because of issues that could be addressed but instead are not, some have drug or alcohol problems, but refuse treatment. In other cases, people have problems with their weight that could be addressed, but instead a life on benefits rather than work becomes the choice.

Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality to it, but a joke is about surprising someone. I'm a great believer in context. You can joke about anything. I do like finding out where the line is drawn, deliberately crossing it and bringing some of them with me across the line, and having them be happy that I did.

We have a lot of cards to play in getting people to work together, as well as protecting our allies. And, at the end of the day, there is a military threat that has to be posed, and it should be very clear: If Kim Jong-un attacks our allies or any part of America, including Guam, we will retaliate with devastating force.

I don't know why, but I always feel a kind of necessity to write things that are beyond acceptance, that are too offensive or something. For people to read them and say, Ha-ha-ha, very funny. No, we can't print that.

I do kind of aspire to do comedy that appeals to a wide range of audiences and doesn't divide people. I never want to do material that makes people laugh at the expense of making other people feel bad - not to say I'm not guilty of that at times. ... I try and make humor out of the really important issues of the day, like Hot Pockets and elevators and not wanting to get out of bed.

Most comedians I know are quite serious, anxious people who find life rather difficult. As a consequence, they make people laugh.

I'm hopeful that increased awareness of the issues in Africa will bring about a new wave of progress and activism among young people everywhere.

What is true, though, is now we've got a bunch of videos that whatever side of the issue you're on, raises the temperature on these issues and makes people really focused .

There are always so many conjectures as to the issue of any event that, whatever the outcome, there will always be people to say: 'I said then that it would be so'