Victor LaValle Quotes

I'm certainly not a perfect mother, but I'm trying to be what my mother wasn't for me. My mother's battled depression, so I understand it now as a parent, some of the things that she must have been going through.

Everyone worries about their kids, of course, but you can drive yourself nuts thinking about all the horrible things in the world - and many, many people do. I believe life is to be lived and not survived.

Fear and I were old buddies, despite my best efforts to the contrary.

I'm generally known as a happy person, but years ago, I suffered from panic and anxiety. I've learned to manage the fear and pain.

Anxiety is loves greatest killer.

My mother's father drank and her mother was an unhappy, neurotic woman, and I think she has lived all her life afraid of anyone who drinks for fear something like that might happen to her.

It's a universal truth that no parent wishes to acknowledge that the fear and phobias we are in thrall to in adulthood almost invariably connect back to childhood experiences.

Somewhere deep inside me was the will and determination not only to live, but to be a more present mother for my kids, instead of one who was emotionally unavailable because she was in so much pain, as my own mother was.

Depression runs in my family on both sides, and I have to be wary.

I am living for every day and trying to have less fear, less worry. But I have always worried about everything; it's in my nature. It's the thing that makes me suffer the most.

When I was a boy, I was a worrier, and so was my son, Joe. I used to tell him that worrying meant he had an imagination and that one day he'd be pleased.

I have social anxiety. It's easier up on stage because there's security in being there. When I'm off stage I'm trying not to be a manic freak. I'm quite shy.

I am someone who worries a lot. I'm always worrying 'what if?' Now I'm a mum - there will be worries for the rest of my life, but they're not about me anymore.

I have worked very hard on being aware of my childhood but moving forward and not letting it bring me down emotionally. That is a hard thing - especially when you have children of your own and you remember what happened to you at that age.

And if you're not going to have a clear health threat, you don't want to panic people.

I started getting these attacks in 2009, just as my music career was taking off. I'd be doing photo-shoots and started to feel like I was having heart attacks. Increasingly I found it difficult to step outside my flat. Things started to get better after I saw a therapist, who told me I needed to make peace with my panic attacks.

You cannot escape anxiety … but I have faith that you will rise above your fears.

I have been working with people on an individual basis for years to help them break habits and deal with anxiety. I've helped people with everything from fears, phobias, and stress right the way through to eczema - anything that is governed by our psyche and inner psychology.

My message for young parents is that although it is very natural to worry, it doesn't lead to anything. Try to live positively because your attitude is going to rub off on your children.

Just as you're allowed to be angry about injustice, it's natural to express feelings of sadness or fear, especially if you're exhausted by the prospect of trying to keep a brave face.

I got this advice that if you know a panic attack is happening, just sit back and go, 'Okay, this is happening to me, but it'll be over. You'll be fine. You'll live.'

I do feel I have a hard time dealing with things being OK.

I have panic attacks here and there, like in the weirdest places ever, and I've learned to deal with them.

Is my job as a child, even as an adult, is my job to heal the wounds of my parents' childhoods?

I know that life is full of lessons to be learned, and my children will have to learn their own, but I hope I have broken the cycle of shame and fear that plagued my childhood.