Stewart Lee Quotes

I wanted to cut down on the profanity, because I think I'm funnier without sayin' a lot of cuss words.

NBC anchor Brian Williams is a standup comic in disguise.

I take a lot of pride in managing to be funny without having a victim at the end of my joke. I laugh at a really dark joke as much as the next person, but my jokes, I feel, don't have to hurt anybody to be really funny.

I am edgy, raw, offensive, vulgar, untruthful, but intelligent. My jokes are always realistic. I do not make fun of children or people who cannot fight back. That is my limitation.

I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating.

We kept a broad audience, and we didn't make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to the ground. We made fun of a commercial or a movie or ourselves.

I'd rather get a good clean laugh with good material, than an easy laugh by swearing or shocking. That's not clever or comedic, anybody can get a laugh that way, it's too easy.

Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.

I devised the Bert Lance Toe Test then - you go out on the front porch of the house, turn 'The Washington Post' over with your big toe, and if your name's above the fold, you know you're not going to have a good day.

I have a good sense of humor. I'm not Martin Lawrence by any means. I'm a little too country to be Chris Rock. But I fancy myself as being somebody with a good sense of humor.

I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.

Hillary Clinton has an entire media empire that constantly demonizes Donald Trump, fails to point out several signs of illness by her.

We didn't choose the joke because it's filthy! We chose it because of the structure!

The so-called positive press has in some ways been more difficult to swallow than the negative.

Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus. I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it's a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us. And the problem with the mainstream media is that it has these other biases that are much more important.

People know I'm smart. And people know that, whether it's SNL or Jimmy Kimmel, it's a trend to take the piss out of celebrity -- just as much of a trend as wearing a gray hoodie or driving a Prius.

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.

You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.

The only time I get upset by things written about me - when people write irresponsible things about my weight... I appreciate that young girls look up to me. And I take that very seriously.

A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like politically conscious comedy.

The thing that's weird is that we thought it was funny. We expected people to get the joke - that we [with Andrew Ridgeley] were two guys really making asses of ourselves.

Not only can the media not take Trump out, the media can't even hurt him. And when they try, he gets even more powerful, or more popular.

I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it. If it's a sock puppet, if it's a stool, I'll do it.

His sense of humor is purely cheap vaudeville, yet everyone falls for it.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.