Terry Pratchett Quotes

I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings." -from the Fox-

Comedy comes from conflict, from hatred.

Oh, I'm sorry," Chubs said, 'apparently the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours. Do continue.

Didn't we talk about this?" "HAIL!" "That isn't an answer." I planted my hands on my hips. "Was there a reason for shoving the gummy bears off the counter? Did they tell you they were suicidal? On second thought," I raised a hand, palm out, "don't answer that. If the candy is talking, I don't want to know.

Been chatting much with Jared?" "We often have special moments where I come into a room and he immediately leaves," Kami said. "I treasure those times.

What's wrong?" I didn't say a word." Something's up. What is it?" Nothing." His head turned, gaze going to mine. "Yeah?" Yes." A snort and he returned to his bowl.

A prating barber asked Archelaus how he would be trimmed. He answered, "In silence."

Her silence was the blank space between the words.

After a moment, he turned sharply to me. 'Are you quite all right?' 'Yes, perfectly. Why do you ask?' 'Because I have just called you contrary and you did not bother to contradict me. I thought you might be ill.

Are you done yet?' Issac called Charles tilted his head back and called back, 'I suppose that's why they call you the five minute wonder.' Anna could feel her eyes round and her mouth drop open 'I cant believe you just said that' She paused and reconsidered. 'I am so telling Samuel you said that.' Charles smiled. kissed her gently, and said 'Samuel won't believe you.

Listen to me, don't listen to me. Talk to me, don't talk to me.

"You are fairly smart," I said after a while. "You are fairly good at compliments," he answered.

There are times in life when language fails us, when everything that needs to be said can be expressed only by saying nothing at all.

Well, I'm permitted to say anything I like. I just don't.

In Chinese, there are an impressive number of ways to describe saying nothing at all.

A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

In human intercourse the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not understood.

Well, you can't argue with somebody that won't argue back.

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

I could talk all day, T stands for talking, T stands for tender, T stands for things that don't even rhyme with T.

What's so useful about the British culture of politeness is the level of passive aggression is really fun to write.

I told my children, 'I don't like children.'

The common thread of my comedy shows is conflict and, I guess, the frustration of people who either argue with you or just say stuff which is blatantly incorrect, and nobody calls them out on it.