Mignon McLaughlin Quotes

I have never believed much in luck, and my sense of humor has tended to walk on the dark side.

I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Most bad luck is the misfortune of not being an exception.

Fate can be one mean god at times.

Rule number 2 - don't listen to me!" Arriane laughed, "I'm certifiably insane!

The universe tends toward maximum irony. Don't push it.

To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.

One thing is certain in life. Just when things are going well, soon afterward they are certain to go wrong. It's just the way things are meant to be.

God howls with laughter at earthly plans, you know?

Fate weaves the darkness, which is perhaps why she weaves so badly.

I never thought I'd refer to myself as a hot mess.

Sometimes really, really bad things happen to people, and there is no explanation and no reason whatsoever.

You seem to be drowning twice," said Hermione. "Oh, am I?" said Ron peering down at his predictions. "I'd better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging Hippogriff.

What if life is just a cosmic joke, like spiders in your underwear.

Luck's a chance, but trouble's sure.

Of all ridiculous things the most ridiculous seems to me, to be busy — to be a man who is brisk about his food and his work. Therefore, whenever I see a fly settling, in the decisive moment, on the nose of such a person of affairs; or if he is spattered with mud from a carriage which drives past him in still greater haste; or the drawbridge opens up before him; or a tile falls down and knocks him dead, then I laugh heartily.

It's amazing the way one can take a step ten and a half miles long and still always land in a cowpat.

though fortune's wheel is generally on the turn, sometimes when it gets into the mud, it sticks there.

I'm a barrel of monkeys, kid, though mostly I figure monkeys stuck in a barrel are just going to be pissed off.

As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.

Bad luck relies on absolutely perfect timing.

Keep in mind that I'm crazy, won't you?

The Benson and Hedges Cup was won by McEnroe ... he was as charming as always, which means that he was as charming as a dead mouse in a loaf of bread.

It was the damnedest thing, life. Once you decide exactly how things are going to go, something or someone comes along and messes it all up.