Helen Fielding Quotes

I once said the wrong movie name to Aaron Eckhart, and boy did he tease me about it for years.

Apparently I had a boner in the acceptance video

excuse me' he added, taking the opera glasses out of her hands and looking over her bare shoulder at the row of boxes opposite, 'i'm afraid i'm becoming ridiculous

Scott Bullett, as he takes left field, is getting congratulations from everybody. He and his daughter are parents of a new baby.

So you go on and on, with this intellectual fly down, your underwear exposed, and toilette paper hanging out the back of your pants.

It's possible that I shall make an ass of myself. But in that case one can always get out of it with a little dialectic. I have, of course, so worded my proposition as to be right either way.

There is no embarrassment quite like the embarrassment of listening to a person for whom one has a regard making a fool of himself.

Give your friend cause to blush, and you will be likely to lose him.

My job was basically to look at a good friend completely naked and rub lotion on her back. I was naked too, but I got to put a towel on almost immediately. So I was like, "Well, this is going to be embarrassing, but it's also going to be kinda awesome."

It was like making a blunder at a party; there was nothing to do about it, it was dreadfully mortifying, but it showed a lack of sense to ascribe too much importance to it.

All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.

Much awkwardness ensued.

Paris answered for him. "Last time he spread the flashing love, Reyes threw up all over his shirt. I never laughed so hard in my life. Lucien, though, has no sense of humor and vowed never to take us again." "I'm surprised you didn't mention the part where you fainted," Lucien said wryly. Strider chortled. "Oh, man. You fainted? What a baby!" "Hey," Paris said, frowning at Lucien. "I told you I hit my head midflash." Lucien

No no no! Don't clap! No no no, you make me seem like I'm like a prophet or something and I'm so not!

Congrats to Prince William and Kate Middleton, who welcomed a baby girl on Saturday. The royal baby weighed eight pounds - or around 12 American dollars.

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

I walked out the wrong car door and started walking into the crowd, An interviewer said, 'Give your best horror scream,' and Stan did this great scream, and I was too much of a wimp to do one. It was pathetic!

I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

I just walked out of the room. I was like, I'm embarrassed, so I need to leave.

I'm probably the most uncool guy that [my daughters] know-as far as they are concerned anyway-'cause I'm Dad. I mean dads just aren't cool-especially when I dance! They don't want me to dance.

Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.

I'm sitting at the dinner table, wearing my future mother-in-law's underwear. It's like some twisted dream that you wake up and thinkL Crikey Moses! Thank God that didn't really happen!

Perhaps the most embarrassing experience is being caught at a lie by a simpleton who sneers at our asinine cleverness.

We just lost our electricity. You want to tell me what’s so funny about that?” “It’s not exactly funny. It’s more of a good news/bad news situation.” “In that case, hit me with the good news first.” “They’re both sort of rolled up into one.” “Stop stalling.” “All right. Now don’t get mad, but . . .” Smothered laughter drifted toward him. “Cal . . . I’m naked.

It's so damned humiliating.