Dave Barry Quotes

Any order that can be misunderstood, will be misunderstood

It is impossible to say just what I mean!

When we use terms we get confused, yet we have no other way.

If I turn out to be particularly clear, you've probably misunderstood what I've said.

The surest method of being incomprehensible or, moreover, to be misunderstood is to use words in their original sense; especially words from the ancient languages.

Part of what confuses people in times of upheaval is that you're getting so many different points of view and directions and so and so, how to do this and do that. And a lot of it is written in a language that honestly most people cannot understand.

A lot of things get misinterpreted with me, I guess.

When you fail to communicate, there are gray areas. And when there's gray areas, then bad things happen.

But why, why, why can't people just say what they mean?

I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

Please don't ask me what the score is. I'm not even sure what the game is.

When one man speaks to another man who doesn't understand him, and when a man who's speaking no longer understands, it's metaphysics.

I was wondering — I mean — could there be some mistake? Because nobody called me and Scrubb, you know. It was we who asked to come here. You would not have called me unless I had been calling you.

Without trying to clear up the degree of correctness of a qualification which no one, one must hope, will be asked to understand exactly, I will limit myself to a few words of explanation to cut short any misunderstandings.

I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.

Let it go on record that any confusion arose simply because we lacked certain commonalities of reference.

I mean maybe I was holding all the aces, but what was the game?

It was strange how you could never form any conclusion from what women said. It was not that they did not know what they were talking about, but you never drew the right conclusions.

I just said what I said and it was wrong. Or it was taken wrong. And now it's all this.

I have not the pleasure of understanding you.

A mutual misunderstanding.

What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?

It's dreadful what little things lead people to misunderstand each other.

The only thing I wish I could figure out is how I got misunderstood regarding the type of person I really am and what I accomplished.

It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.