Julien Baker Quotes

The fact is that trauma and risk taking hadn't become scarier over the years; it had become more normal.

There's so much fear involved in trying to do something you don't know how to do that drugs and alcohol can become a big part of your life if you have an addictive personality or are very unsure, which most songwriters are.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I'm a guy who has problems with moderation. All or nothing. Binge and purge. Kill or be killed. Gray is not a color I wear well. I should be dead. I know that. I should not be successful. I know that too. My daily existence is a toss of the coin - one side, fear, the other side, gratitude.

Everybody needs a way out of that pain. Many people choose drugs and alcohol. Some people obsessively exercise or develop strange dietary habits, which is what I did. At least it got me toward a path of healthier living.

I took a bottle of pills. I'd been in Europe and I had a lot of absinthe and I was just drinking and drinking, trying to, you know, just shut my body down.

I fought back, got injured again and I had to have another operation. I got down and depressed and I think I was drinking more than I should. Well, I know I was.

I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.

The destructive character lives from the feeling, not that life is worth living, but that suicide is not worth the trouble.

I'm more liable to hurt myself than someone else.

It's not that I will die, but if I stop partying, it will lead to extreme complications in my wellbeing.

Googling yourself is like staring at a flame and then putting your hand in it.

I'm dangerous because I have nothing to lose.

When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal.

If I hadn't been a drunkard, I probably would have committed suicide long ago.

Even as I'm shoveling up my hooter, I realize the sad truth. Coke bores me, It bores us all. We're jaded cunts, in a scene we hate, a city we hate, pretending that we're at the center of the universe, trashing ourselves with crap drugs to stave off the feeling that real life is happening somewhere else, aware that all we're doing is feeding that paranoia and disenchantment, yet somehow we're too apathetic to stop. Cause, sadly, there's nothing else of interest to stop for.

Killing myself was a matter of such indifference to me that I felt like waiting for a moment when it would make some difference.

But my activities have been pretty much focused in the last almost 30 years on the recovery, of my own recovery, the understanding for my family of my recovery.

Yes, I'm reckless and sometime express no concern for my own well being, and I express a misanthropic view of the world, but to have an opinion, you can't be a nihilist.

I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe! jump of a bridge.

I can't even remember how many times I tried to kill myself.

I had the taste of the alcohol since I was 11. It allowed me to be clever, charming and to behave outrageously. Acting also allowed me not to be me. So I could indulge every fantasy in this paradise of America.

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

What fascinates me about addiction and obsessive behavior is that people would choose an altered state of consciousness that's toxic and ostensibly destroys most aspects of your normal life, because for a brief moment you feel okay.

For a while I was suicidal and I tried to kill myself. I think I should have died about four times.