Jim Jefferies Quotes

Everyone in comedy thinks if you go to the U.S. you become a global star but, unfortunately, I've always been a bit anti-American - so I never did.

I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.

For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have turned it into a lucrative business.

There are very few people who are Asian who have the kind of global reach that I have, not just with Asians but with non-Asians. I've worked hard for what my name represents, my brand, not just in Britain but around the world.

Comedy can be, especially in a writer's room, really aggressive, kind of a very male-dominated room, and it would be hard for women. It's not a nurturing place. It's not like a lot of women are going to say, I can't wait to live that lifestyle and be in a writer's room until 2 or 3 a.m.

I was unpopular at school just because I was an intellectual. I always answered all the questions off the top of my head but they nevertheless resented because of that.

If we're going to be treated like a bunch of bums on this side of the aisle, then say so.

“Slavery always degrades labor. The white people who work with their hands are ranked with the other laborers— the slaves ... They feel that they are degraded and despised.

The minute I started doing comedy, the doors opened.

It's funny - almost every comedian that I started out with moved to L.A., except for my two friends Hannibal Buress and Amy Schumer. And my two friends that are doing the best in comedy, the most successful friends I have, are Hannibal Buress and Amy Schumer.

You get hate in this business growing up. When you're a young performer, you just don't get the credit for the work that you did. And it is what it is. You can't walk around with a chip on your shoulder.

I resent ever being stereotyped.

Just because Nelson has been released doesn't mean the government has done us any favors. We have nothing to be grateful for. The government destroyed our country, destroyed our people. If anybody needs amnesty, it is the government.

You can be good at comedy, which means you'll be given spots, but beyond that it is luck that pushes you to the next level. There are loads of brilliant comedians who haven't had the breaks, and plenty of average comedians who have.

My birthday is always around Thanksgiving, and I always had to have turkey on my birthday. My mom was always, 'Let's celebrate your birthday on Thanksgiving.' My other siblings got to have special dinners they liked. I resented turkey. For a long time, I hated turkey. I've kind of gotten over it.

I might be one of the very few people in this industry who doesn't have a 'me too' story.

I was always the popular kid that everyone hated. There was no reason for anyone to hate me. I never really did anything wrong. They just didn't like me, so I had to fight back all the time.

I'm just used to working harder than everybody and other people taking the credit.

I'm lucky to have acted during a great era, and I was able to get a lot of love overseas, and I'm happy that I was able to contribute to hallyu in my own way.

Being in a male-dominated industry, you can feel like a little excluded. That was making me feel like maybe I'm not funny. I was really seriously considering, like, quitting standup.

Every comic is taught that you're supposed to have a great seven-minute set and then get a sitcom. And I don't want to get the sitcom.

Slumdog Millionaire has been a great achievement. It has opened the doors of Hollywood for Indian cinema.

I definitely have a chip on my shoulder after having transfered to Division I-AA.

I've done nothing wrong. Some people just don't like me. Maybe I'm somebody that's easy to dislike, but I don't get it. Whatever. I'll do what I do.

All of us have people in our lives who drive us crazy. We've spent hours reliving the unfair, unappreciative, inconsiderate treatment they have inflicted on us. But getting mad at this person makes just about as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair.