Albert Brooks Quotes

You could play well and still lose.

Sometimes things don't happen in the way you want it to. But that's sport.

The better team sometimes loses.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Once upon a time there was a fairy godmother, but the rest of the time there was none. This story is about one of those other times.

The future looks a bit bleak to me.

The events we most desire do not happen; or, if they do, it is neither in the time nor in the circumstances when they would have given us extreme pleasure.

Life, unfortunately, doesn't seem to care what we want.

Nothing in life is ever as simple as we imagine.

One thing I've learned about the Marvel universe is that it's a little bit like God... if you want to make him laugh, just make a plan.

If you want to make god laugh, make a plan.

I like the way the morning can be stormy and the afternoon clear and sparkly as a jewel in the water. Put your hand in the water to reach for a sea urchin or a sea shell, and the thing desired never quite lies where you had lined it up to be. The same is true of love. In prospect or contemplation, love is where it seems to be. Reach in to lift it out and your hand misses

In the end we all come to be cured of our sentiments. Those whom life does not cure death will. The world is quite ruthless in selecting between the dream and reality, even where we will not. Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting. I've thought a great deal about my life and my country. I think there is little that can be truly known. My family has been fortunate. Others were less so. As they are often quick to point out.

You know nothing about Hope, that immortal, delicious maiden forever courted forever propitious, whom fools have called deceitful, as if it were Hope that carried the cup of disappointment, whereas it is her deadly enemy, Certainty, whom she only es

Expectations destroy our peace of mind. They are future disappointments, planned out in advance.

It seems to me that life is always undoing for us something that we have just laboriously done.

I knew at the time my haircut was pretty damn god-awful, so I was just hoping that I wasn't one of the joke ones. And they put me through to Hollywood and I thought, "Well okay, maybe I'm still one of the joke ones but at least I'm not terrible?"

The one fact about the future of which we can be certain is that it will be utterly fantastic.

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane In proving foresight may be vain The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft agley An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain For promis'd joy!

Nothing in the world causes so much misery as uncertainty.

I started a short story but it was so dreary that even my pen threw up.

When you choose a show you really don't know where it's going to go. Sometimes things let you down and sometimes things just surprise you and fulfill you way more than you thought.

Traveling is like gambling: it is always connected with winning and losing and generally where it is least expected we receive, more or less than what we hoped for.

Life never gives us what we want at the moment that we consider appropriate.

The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.