Erma Bombeck Quotes

Many people see the chance to eat something for nothing, without the need to cook or wash up, as the great consolation of going out to dinner. But they forget quite how difficult it is to talk to a stranger and eat at the same time.

Tis not the food, but the content, That makes the table's merriment.

The table robbes more then a thiefe.

My notion of an elegant table is you don't leave the knife sticking out of the mayonnaise jar.

One really interesting thing for me was learning about kitchen etiquette, and the differences between an Indian kitchen and a French one. They're different in atmosphere, and also in how chefs maneuver within them.

I think in France, for example, we can say whatever we want about the French, but going out and dining is more about the intellectual moment to share with the people you dine with than trying to figure out what the chef did with that little piece of salmon or lobster and all that.

In the restaurant it's much more serious.

Rarely do pens go dry in restaurants.

I don't like the term 'dinner as theater,' because that implies something thespian that I don't want to tie into this, but there are plenty of times that people go out to dinner because they want to have an experience. There are, however, probably many more times that people go out to eat because it's 7 o'clock and it's time to eat.

Know how to behave at a fine restaurant, which is a telltale measure of social maturity.

If I walked into a restaurant, the other diners would look around and say, 'I hope you're not cooking.'

If I ever own a restaurant, I will never allow the waiters to ask if the diners like their dishes. Particularly when they're talking.

Eating American-style, you put the knife down and clang. Continental is silent and efficient.

I got so used to using chopsticks that using a fork and knife is weird.

I am one who leaves the table like a man, without putting back the chair or picking up the plate

Do not, as you value the health and happiness of those who sit at your table, place before them hot leavened bread or biscuit.

At the dinner table, if you can't think of anything to say, sit quietly. Don't throw rolls, or chew on your napkin.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.

A diner having a row with a waiter in a swanky restaurant chills the blood in a way that a quarrel over a pizza order elsewhere would never do. Compassion is rarely the custom of the privileged.

She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table.

What we eat is the one simplest way to declare who we are - the table reflects our values with a clarity that few other theaters of human behaviour posses.

Do not speak of repulsive matters at table.

Do all your eating at a table.

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.

The most conventional customs cling to the table. Farmers who wouldn't drive a horse too hard expect pie three times a day.