Adam Carolla Quotes

I never had the desire to get in front of the camera. It never occurred to me! I always thought I'd be a theater actor.

Once you're on stage you can't go back, even when things go wrong people expect you to stay there and entertain them. When all else fails, you've got to try tap dancing.

As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.

Everything about acting is a challenge. I'm self-conscious. You couldn't do anything to cause me to be more self-conscious than to stick a camera in my face and have 60 people standing behind it, waiting for me to perform.

If you're onstage and you're improvising and nothing's happening, people are racing for the door. But the director can go shopping later and pick up pieces and moments and insert them.

Leading a band and producing yourself and picking cool tunes and putting a show together takes a lot of thought, and a certain amount of courage. In my early twenties, if I wasn't getting good enough at it, then people would not come and see me. Anybody who has lasted this long - I hope we get better with age.

I don't know how to play the guitar, so having to be on stage in front of people doing something you don't really know how to do, it's terrifying.

I don't feel comfortable doing movies. It's not what I trained to do. I trained to be a theater actress. You put me on a stage in front of 2,000 people, I know what to do.

I love to dance. But I don't like being up in front of tons of people. I didn't have that in me to do it, the desire to be performing in front of a lot of people. If there's a lot of people on a set, I get nervous. So music just wasn't something I ever seriously considered.

I want a room that I can definitely pack out. I don't want to sweat that part, "Am I gonna have enough people?" So I usually pick like a hundred, a relatively small room. Also, I'm looser in a small room. I don't want to record an album in front of a thousand people, not that I could draw a thousand, but I just want a room that I can really work back to front. That's just a very comfortable place for me to be loose.

For me, before I go on stage, it all depends. Might be a girl, might be an edible, might be a verse, might be somebody mixing something in my drink without me knowing - hopefully that won't happen tonight.

I had a couple albums out that sold well for who I was at the time and the type of music I played. People started recognizing my name and face and it helped sell bigger venues. I had a bigger spotlight and I had to live up to it but I thrived under that challenge. It expedited the creative process. If I was on stage in front of 300 people instead of 30, I had to work harder at my performances because I had a greater responsibility. It was very exciting, but creative too.

In 2008, a year of supposed 'food crisis', we grew enough food to feed 11 billion people. Most of it was not eaten by humans as food, however.

People say it takes 10 years to change your life. It's bullshit. It takes a moment, a second. But it may take you 10 years to get to the point of finally saying, "Enough."

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

I guess if we do enough shows and keep doing it long enough, then people will get the picture. But I can't really be bothered if they don't get the picture. That's not my concern.

I'd say recording and playing on stage are two completely different things. Being up in front of all people is like jumping off a cliff into icy water. The recording process is a totally different energy.

You got to do well at your craft ultimately, especially if you know that people are observing you and watching you and you don't want to get out there and produce subpar work. Because that's how people look at it. They don't just look at you as an athlete, they look at it as o you're an athlete and you're a Christian, what's happening now?

I'm not really comfortable singing without accompanying myself on stage - I'm not used to it.

I'm already a big enough target. I'm already more famous than most people should ever hope to be, and, as such, that has a direct effect on the size of the target that is on me. And you always do what you can to reduce the size of the target while not reducing your presence.

There's nothing worse than being shackled by some miniscule sort of technology you have onstage, and I think your mettle is going to get tested in those moments.

People are best on records and books because you can turn them off or put them back on the shelf.

I'm not a dancer, and it was very time-consuming. But I met great people, and it was flattering to be asked to be on. You don't understand how demanding that show is until you're on the inside. That is real work. Real work!

Set exorbitant standards, and give your people hell when they don't live up to them. There is nothing so demoralizing as a boss who tolerates second rate work.

There is always money to kill people. There is never enough money for life affirming ends.