Felix Dennis Quotes

The funeral business is so manipulative emotionally. I would want to be thrown into the sea or burned - something that's not a big hassle.

I haven't really thought about where to scatter my ashes when the time comes, but I doubt that it would be in space.

[That] my body be buried as cheaply as possible and no speeches be permitted at my funeral.

I'm not going to have a tombstone. I'm going to be tossed in the air. Ashes, tossed like a salad.

Virtually every civilized society today holds sacred the right to peaceably bury their dead.

Don't think I'd really want to be a mortician. Wouldn't be getting much back.

I want a natural burial. Just straight into the ground in a shroud.

Corpses are more fit to be thrown out than is dung.

I love a cardboard coffin. Both Mummy and Daddy went off in cardboard coffins, painted - Daddy's was rifle green. Beautifully made.

When I die, I hope they don't cremate me 'cuz I'll burn forever.

What's going to happen when I die? I may be buried, or I may be cremated, I may give my body to science. I haven't decided yet.

When I die bury me in smoke.

When it's time to shuffle off this mortal coil, you leave your ashes to be composted.

I don't want to be buried in the ground, rotting, with all those worms. What I would love is to have my body dropped where you have those big icebergs and the water is so cold and pure, to be eaten by a polar bear or a seal or an otter.

. . . my bones they'll burn or bury. It'll be my death.

I want a big 25-foot pink statue that holds my grave. Or I also might like the way the Indians did it. They hang you up on the top of a tree and the birds eat you. No, really I would probably choose cremating.

Boy, when you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead?

If humans died in a healthy culture, they would not lock out the earth in metal coffins and carve their names on stone monuments, but would instead place the naked body in the earth and plant a tree above the silent heart.

'I shall have heaven and earth for my coffin and its shell; the sun and moon for my two round symbols of jade, the stars and constellations for my pearls and jewels; and all things assisting as the mourners. Will not the provisions for my funeral be complete? What could you add to them?'

If anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single spiritual person who has been able to show either empirically or logically the existence of a higher power with any consciousness or interest in the human race or ability to punish or reward humans for their moral choices or that there is any reason other than fear to believe in any version of an afterlife, I will give you my piano, one of my legs and my wife.

I'm probably 20 percent atheist and 80 percent agnostic. I don't think anyone really knows. You'll either find out or not when you get there, until then there's no point thinking about it.

A man might well pray that he may not taboo or curse any portion of nature by being buried in it.

Believing in Hell must distort every judgement on this life.

What am I supposed to say to an atheist when he sneezes, ah, when you die nothing happens.

I persist in preferring philosophers to rabbis priests imams ayatollahs and mullahs. Rather than trust their theological hocus-pocus I prefer to draw on alternatives to the dominant philosophical historiography: the laughers materialists radicals cynics hedonists atheists sensualists voluptuaries. They know that there is only one world and that promotion of an afterlife deprives us of the enjoyment and benefit of the only one there is. A genuinely deadly sin.