AL GOLDSTEIN

There is a cliche that men want their women to be ladies in public and hookers behind closed doors. I want my woman to be the sharper image robot so that she can be turned off.

You need fighters like me to battle, because frankly The New York Times and the Washington Post are not going to fight the fights that I do.

Our stock in trade is raw, flailing sex.

So, if anatomy is destiny then testosterone is doom.

In reality there is no cause or effect, there is only the indifference of the universe.

If you cannot work on the marriage or the women is a moron, staying married and cheating makes the most sense because divorce is disruptive to the family life and your bank account.

Love is a deception and a trap. Love is as big a myth that God sits with his flowing white beard in a throne and looks at us.

When every piece of furniture and your underwear are taken by the bank, when you lose your house in Florida, in New York, in Amsterdam and L.A., when your wife is dying and your son abandons you, you don't feel very good.

For me working on the marriage and not making the easy choice of cheating was something that I could not do.

I am not a prisoner of my sexuality like men younger than myself although I write about being a prisoner.

I keep attacking the villains, the know-nothings, the people who want to take our freedoms away.

The true success is the person who invented himself.

I refuse to be silenced.

Philosophy is an attempt by man to find cause and effect. Religion has the same goal.

Our photographs are filthier and our stories are more disgusting. We make no effort to be artistic.

Married life is an existence with bars around it.

Even though marriage is doomed, if you turned it into a job you like and really work at it - it can be salvaged.

Married sex is like being awake during your own autopsy. It is root canal work without anesthetic.

Celebrity gives us delusion of self importance.

To date or not to date that is the question. It's almost as important as Shakespeare's to be or not to be which deals with death.

I'm a crusader. I really believe in the First Amendment, and I use it fully, and I pay a price for that.

The only way marriage can work is if a man respects the woman and she is a thinking woman and he wants to work on the marriage.

Since fame is an illusion and death is in our future all we have is the next moment before we are swallowed into oblivion.

The only reason that Jews are in pornography is that we think that Christ sucks. Catholicism sucks.