Jason Segel Quotes

My forays into trying to date girls my own age from the school I went to were all pretty tortured.

I have experienced bad dating and ineptitude with women all across the globe, from Vietnam to Paris. When I was 21, women were an enigma; they were this code that had to be cracked. They were 'The Other.' I have often thought writing this stuff into stand-up and shows would be an exorcism, but it hasn't been; it makes no difference.

Not getting girls is the story of my life. I have always had a bit of a tough time with the ladies. I don't know whether it's that I don't have game or just don't feel comfortable in my own skin, but females pick up on that.

When I first saw the trailer of 'Only For Singles,' the only thought in my head was that we live in ever evolving times but the problems for singles remain the same.

I've been dating since I was 15 years old, and I just don't seem to do it well.

When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store.

Dating now is a lot like going shopping when you don't have any money. Even if you find the right thing, you can't do anything about it.

Why did I break up with Elvis? It was difficult to watch his slow demise.

I had three toy buckets, and I would put hot water in them because we weren't allowed to sit in the jacuzzi - we weren't old enough - so I would charge people $1, and everyone would line up, and everyone would sit in this disgusting hot water-sand-filled thing, and I would get $1 and go to the snack bar and get an Oreo.

I'm sure every song has some kind of undertone of what I was going through with Chris. It was my life.

I was bullied. I was a bit of a geek. Good-looking guys were off-limits. I didn't start dating until I was 18.

The truth is my love life has been a lot more turbulent than I have let on.

I haven't had a date in 26 years.

The guys I tended to date, you know, didn't necessarily have it altogether but I had a great time.

I've actually never been taken on a date in my whole life.

I don't get any dates; that's the thing.

I've always had problems with guys!

I never went to my high school dance, and didn't date much.

I have always been very entrepreneurial minded. Oftentimes, while I was sitting in class listening to my professor ramble on, I would think to myself: 'I could be out there making money right now.'

I've cried a lot because of women. I cry a lot, as a person.

When you write an album and you're writing about relationships, the stuff that I've been through in my relationships, 99 percent of it is really good, but it's that one percent that always inspires you to write a song.

I find it's really hard for anybody to meet anyone. I'm not big on dates anyways. I still have to work that out.

I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date.

Oh, boy. I'm still in touch with about 90 percent of my exes. They would describe me as being unlucky in love.

I mean, anything that money can be made off will never be a problem to make, no matter what it is.