Eoin Colfer Quotes

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Men are wonderful. I adore them. They always give you the benefit of the doubt.

People say conversation is a lost art; how often I have wished it were.

I could talk all day, T stands for talking, T stands for tender, T stands for things that don't even rhyme with T.

Not very good, I am afraid. But now really, do not you think Udolpho the nicest book in the world?" "The nicest—by which I suppose you mean the neatest. That must depend upon the binding.

There are two types of people in the world: those who think everyone needs therapy, and those who have never been.

I think William Shakespeare was the wisest human being I ever heard of. To be perfectly frank, though, that's not saying much.

Don't go see the movies, I'm a troll. I think the movie was great, but their biggest mistake was me.

As for George Bush of Kennebunkport, Maine- personally I think he's further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the Sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony.

The president already has a Nobel Prize for peace. I think he's shooting for one in fiction.

My name is immaterial,' she said. That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.

A quaint conceit, don't you think?

This guy from L.A. sits down next to me, and he says "you like baseball?" I said, "Oh, man, I love baseball." So he goes "Did you know that if Jesus had played ball, he'd have been the greatest ball player ever?" Like I'm gonna argue with that logic. So I sat there for a second, and then I said "did you know that if Babe Ruth had been the Messiah, the Catholics would have beer and hot dogs at Communion?" He left.

Now produce your explanation and pray make it improbable.

Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet. "I'm dying of boredom," Howl said pathetically. "Or maybe just dying.

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'

My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

I think astrology is annoying bullshit-which is so Libra of me

That's sort of what I wanted to make fun of a little bit with Don Jon. And I think oftentimes, if you're going to talk about a sort of substantial topic like this, the best way to do it is with a sense of humor.

How old are you?” “Seventeen,” he answered promptly. “And how long have you been seventeen?” His lips twitched as he stared at the road. “A while,” he admitted at last.

I can be much more sarcastic and, I think, sometimes withering in my assessments of things than I allow to show in my public life.

Speaking of Sonya...I was thinking of something earlier. Something Wolfe said." "Why, Adrian. Were you paying attention after all?" "Don't start,Sage," he warned.(p 211)

After a moment, he turned sharply to me. 'Are you quite all right?' 'Yes, perfectly. Why do you ask?' 'Because I have just called you contrary and you did not bother to contradict me. I thought you might be ill.