Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield Quotes

He who reflects on another man's want of breeding, shows he wants it as much himself

Nothing can constitute good-breeding that has not good-nature for its foundation.

I think the thing I miss most in our age is our manners. It sounds so old-fashioned in a way. But even bad people had good manners in the old days, and manners hold a community together, and manners hold a family together; in a way, they hold the world together.

Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you're a hermit on a mountain, you don't have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you've got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities.

Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything.

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split.

In the contemporary world, we think of politeness as surface behavior, like frosting - it's sweet and attractive and finishes off the cake. But 19th century nobility and the enlightened thinkers and stoics before them viewed manners in a very different way. To them, manners are an outward expression of an inward struggle.

Though shyness per se was unacceptable, reserve was a mark of good breeding.

He is not well bred, that cannot bear ill breeding in others

Politeness is the chief sign of culture.

There is not a single outward mark of courtesy that does not have a deep moral basis.

Familiarity is a suspension of almost all the laws of civility, which libertinism has introduced into society under the notion of ease.

Civility is a desire to receive civilities, and to be accounted well-bred.

I respect the social graces enormously. How to pass the food. Don't yell from one room to another. Don't go through a closed door without a knock. Open the doors for the ladies. All these millions of simple household behaviors make for a better life. We can't live in constant rebellion against our parents - it's just silly. I'm very well mannered. It's not an abstract thing. It's a shared language of expectations.

Being polite to a person is not a sign of respect for them. It is merely a sign of a good upbringing and a balanced nature.

Manners. Manners will get you through anything.

The challenge of manners is not so much to be nice to someone whose favor and/or person you covet (although more people need to be reminded of that necessity than one would suppose) as to be exposed to the bad manners of others without imitating them.

Good manners are a part of good morals.

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.

Courtesy is a lady's armor.

The only true source of politeness is consideration.

Manners are the hypocrisy of a nation.

The more you act like a lady, the more he'll act like a gentleman.

A bad manner spoils everything, even reason and justice; a good one supplies everything, gilds a No, sweetens a truth, and adds a touch of beauty to old age itself.

Persian social manners are well known, and there is no other society that can compete with them.