Mike Schultz Quotes

It's almost as easy to stand up as it is to sit down.

A lot of times when I sit down with the other comics and try to talk theory, they say I'm being too serious.

I've done a lot of fighting in my time, and I'm down to do some more. I don't want to, but you know, there's just certain things that you can't sit down and take.

Day-to-day life is a lot of work. I work a lot on stand-up stuff, and then day-to-day life and, you know, just living. It's always different. Try to work out, try to stay in shape, and try to have some fun.

I have my whole office set-up at waist level; I don't sit at all during the day. Sitting, to me, is the devil.

We sit down with the kids every single night, not that I want to every night - sometimes I'd rather be out with my husband having a martini at a swanky restaurant - but we sit down with our kids every night at dinner.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

The main secret for a horse that is heavy upon the hand, is for the rider to have a very light one; for when he finds nothing to bear upon with his mouth, he infallibly throws himself upon the haunches for his own security.

Don't worry about the room being messy! Everything can't be perfect - you have to let some things go, and it's better to actually sit down on the floor with your child than spend time worrying about having a perfect house.

It's nice to sit down when you're not working. I try to do it as often as possible.

I wanted to be a pianist but it just wasn't my thing. I guess I wanted to stand up rather than sit down.

Ballet is good, because it makes you stand up tall.

Everything is a learning process: any time you fall over, it's just teaching you to stand up the next time.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Bob Hope, Red Skelton, and Eddie Cantor... help us keep our balance.

I took group lessons at a rink near my home. We first had to learn how to stand up on the ice wearing skates. Eventually we learned to move forward, but soon found out that it was not that easy to stop! So that was our next important lesson.

Always rise from the table with an appetite, and you will never sit down without one.

The most important thing is posture: when you get old, it's the way you walk, the way you stand, that shows it.

The best riders in the world with the best horses make it look so elegant and graceful. When you watch it done well, it looks so easy that it's difficult for the public to understand how hard this really is.

I'm going to continue to try to strike a balance, because I really, really do love doing stand-up, and I don't see why it should affect the acting.

He who tip-toes cannot stand; he who strides cannot walk.

Now being upon the haunches (as he necessarily must be in this case) is it impossible but he must be light in hand, because no horse can be rightly upon his haunches without being so.

I want every American to stand up for his rights, even if he has to sit down for them.

1. Don't forget nothing. 2. Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, sixty rounds powder and ball, and be ready to march at a minute's warning. 3. When you're on the march, act the way you would if you was sneaking up on a deer. See the enemy first. 4. Tell the truth about what you see and do. There is an army depending on us for correct information. You can lie all you please when you tell other folks about the Rangers, but don't never lie to a Ranger or officer. 5. Don't never take a chance you don't have to. 6. When we're on the march we march single file, far enough apart so one shot can't go through two men. 7. If we strike swamps, or soft ground, we spread out abreast, so it's hard to track us. 8. When we march, we keep moving til dark, so as to give the enemy the least possible chance at us. 9. When we camp, half the party stays awake while the other half sleeps. 10. If we take prisoners, we keep 'em separate til we have had time to examine them, so they can't cook up a story between 'em. 11. Don't ever march home the same way. Take a different route so you won't be ambushed. 12. No matter whether we travel in big parties or little ones, each party has to keep a scout 20 yards ahead, twenty yards on each flank and twenty yards in the rear, so the main body can't be surprised and wiped out. 13. Every night you'll be told where to meet if surrounded by a superior force. 14. Don't sit down to eat without posting sentries. 15. Don't sleep beyond dawn. Dawn's when the French and Indians attack. 16. Don't cross a river by a regular ford. 17. If somebody's trailing you, make a circle, come back onto your own tracks, and ambush the folks that aim to ambush you. 18. Don't stand up when the enemy's coming against you. Kneel down. Hide behind a tree. 19. Let the enemy come till he's almost close enough to touch. Then let him have it and jump out and finish him up with your hatchet.

I've gotten into surfing a bit. I can't stand up for more than five seconds, but I like the fact that I can paddle out into oblivion.