Mark Twain Quotes

Is there anything more useless than a crouton? I sometimes wake up in the small hours with a start and realise that what's roused me is an overpowering urge to visit violence on its originator.

I can talk about Jane Austen until the cows come home.

Oh, please. If she's going to use Mr. Darcy to prop up her arguments, I give up.

I read "Pride and Prejudice" [by Jane Austen]. I was gobsmacked by it - it's so funny and so modern. Unbelievable. You don't expect funny to come through after 200 years - humor doesn't transcend decades, let alone centuries.

How is it that, a full two centuries after Jane Austen finished her manuscript, we come to the world of Pride and Prejudice and find ourselves transcending customs, strictures, time, mores, to arrive at a place that educates, amuses, and enthralls us? It is a miracle. We read in bed because reading is halfway between life and dreaming, our own consciousness in someone else's mind.

I hate fund-raising. Haaaaate it. Hate, hate it.

I don't hate women - they just sometimes make me mad.

There isn't a book that has changed me, but I have favourites such as 'Pride and Prejudice' which I often re-read.

They look at someone like me, and I just really get up their nose. I really wind them up.

For God's sake bring me a large Scotch. What a bloody awful country.

It's those damn critics again.

The term 'hero' irritates me greatly.

It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

I don't know what DVD commentaries are about. I'd like to strangle the person who came up with that concept.

This person they make me out to be irritates the hell out of me as well.

I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.

'Pride and Prejudice' - perhaps more than any other Jane Austen book - is engrained in our literary consciousness.

I grew up reading 'Sense and Sensibility' and 'Pride and Prejudice' - girly kind of books.

Quit shouting those rerun songs at me.

I'm so sick of Betty White.

I have the kind of face that people want to punch.

I have no patience with dinosaurs.

I very, very, very rarely lose my temper. I do get cross sometimes when encountering something that I feel is improper, that I feel is lacking in justice and equity, and this all sounds very pompous and over the top - but these are the things that really upset me: intolerance, prejudice etc. I suppose in more mundane matters, I'm impatient.

I never want to see 'Hamlet' ever again! Never ever!