Martin Amis Quotes

Somebody's boring me. I think it's me.

I'm always amazed that people take what I say seriously. I don't even take what I am seriously.

I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.

Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian.

"I know quite enough of myself," said Bella, with a charming air of being inclined to give herself up as a bad job, "and I don't improve upon acquaintance..."

I do not look at myself every morning and think: 'Oh, my gosh, I am so perfect, so beautiful, so talented.' No, I like to make fun of myself.

I have to laugh at myself.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the dumbest of you all?

To write a diary every day is like returning to one's own vomit.

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

The satirist who writes nothing but satire should write but little - or it will seem that his satire springs rather from his own caustic nature than from the sins of the world in which he lives.

I guess you can tease me about being a drama queen, because that did heighten the drama.

I happen to think nearly everybody - especially those one might find in the odd issue of 'People' magazine, including me - is frightfully boring, Especially me. And Tom Cruise. Tom and I are alike in only this way.

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

I need to think about 'Make sure you drink your water.' That's the kind of person I am.

Perhaps I have written fiction because everything unambiguously expressed seems somehow crass to me; and when the subject is myself, I want to jeer and weep.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I feel coming on a strange disease - humility.

I've become a master of the apology.

I think I write serious comedies. I would love to be able to write for pure pleasure, but the undertow is always loneliness.

When you roast yourself, it makes everybody else comfortable.

My wife would probably tell you I'm quite a dark person all the time!

If written with enough care and thoughtfulness, a joke can make you laugh at a belief you hold dear.

I'm boring as hell. I just sit around and talk philosophy.

I'm crazy in how boring I am.