Art Buchwald Quotes

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.

A man who is willing to commit suicide has the initiative.

They tried to get me - I got them first! [Suicide.]

I think it will be a miracle if I don't someday end up killing myself.

I mean, do you know what you get when you call a suicide hotline in New York city? A busy signal. Literally.

Thinking about suicide is a potent consolation: it helps us to get through many a bad night.

I put the pistol by my head, and say a prayer. I see visions of me dead, Lord are you there?

It was not as easy to commit suicide as to contemplate it.

I am not even alive enough to know how to kill myself

I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?

I tried to commit suicide one day. It was a very Woody Allen-type suicide. I turned on the gas and left all the windows open.

I want to live but I want to die. What do I do?

Nowadays, suicide is just a way of disappearing. It is carried out timidly, quietly, and falls flat. It is no longer an action, only a submission.

The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.

Nothing in my life has ever made me want to commit suicide more than people's reaction to my trying to commit suicide.

The problem with suicide is that it seems so flamboyant. It's camp. You have to be a bit of a drama queen to ever seriously consider it.

They tried to get me-I got them first! (suicide note)

Psychologically, I will not have to seek far if I decide to kill myself, because in my mind and heart I am more ready for this than for the unplanned daily tribulations that mark off the mornings and afternoons.

Stuff up the cracks, turn on the gas, I'm gonna take my life.

Never thoughts of suicide, I'm too alive. But I still treat it like it's do or die.. even though dyin' isn't in the plans, but neither was makin' it and here I am

When people come to me saying they want to kill themselves, I tell them, "What’s your rush? You can kill yourself any time you like. So calm down. Suicide is a positive act." And they do calm down.

After my brush with the suicidal impulse, I listen with new ears to others when they speak on the subject. I think there are people who were born with that little door open, and they have to go through life knowing that they might jump through it at any moment.

I don't kill myself. I can't live like that.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.

To a suicide: You just poisoned the wrong person.