Christopher Moore Quotes

I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake.

I think it is over-rated. Whenever I go to an Italian restaurant, I never get the tiramisu.

You know what they say: 'Why sit at a table that doesn't have key lime pie on it if you don't have to?'

I don't like candy bars. I eat the big rectangular bars. You know - anything between 85 and 50 percent cocoa.

Like a lot of kids, I had a Superman cake or different theme cakes, but then I hit the age where I think my mom thought I was ready for the German chocolate cake that she makes for my dad. Just the sight of that, the taste of that frosting, just reminds me of being at home with my mom and my dad and my sister and my friends.

I like all sorts of chocolate. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, anything.

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

I do not like sweets. But if I have to choose one, it has to be rasmalai.

I'm not saying I don't enjoy the days that I'm not eating chocolate cake. But I do particularly like those days when I am eating chocolate cake.

I can't drink anything but chocolate. I don't even like any milk but chocolate. When I eat cereal, I barely touch the white part.

I love chocolates. It could be something as simple as a chocolate cake with vanilla ice-cream, or it could be macarons filled with chocolate.

I do really good banana bread. And I make a chocolate cake with fudge icing that's bloody delicious.

The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and will die of sexual exertions in the arms of his mistress.

Beware of self-righteousness. The black devil of licentiousness destroys his hundreds, but the white devil of self-righteousness destroys his thousands.

Aunt Mercy put down her tiles, one at a time. I-T-C-H-I-N. Aunt Grace leaned closer to the board, squinting. "Mercy Lynne, you're cheatin' again! What kinda word is that? Use it in a sentence." "I'm itchin' ta have some a that white cake." "That's not how you spell it." At least one of them could spell. Aunt Grace pulled one of the tiles off the board. "There's no T in itchin'." Or not.

Uriah drops his tray next to me. It is loaded with beef stew and chocolate cake. I stare at the cake pile. “There was cake?” I say, looking at my own plate, which is more sensibly stocked than Uriah’s. “Yeah, someone just brought it out. Found a couple boxes of the mix in the back and baked it,” he says. “You can have a few bites of mine.” “A few bites? So you’re planning on eating that mountain of cake by yourself?” “Yes.” He looks confused. “Why?” “Never mind.

I will be happy to give my life to see some of these white devils die.

Nay, but prithee, with sprinkles 'pon it instead," I said solemnly, "and frosting of white.

Libido, fascination, too much oral defecation. White trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy.

A wedding isn't for the bride and groom, it's for the family and friends. The B. and G. are just props, silly stick figures with no more significance than the pink and white candy figures on the top of the cake.

The white devil's time is up.

White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing.

Koolaid is goyish. All Drake's Cakes are goyish. Pumpernickel is Jewish, and, as you know, white bread is very goyish. Instant potatoes - goyish. Black cherry soda's very Jewish. Macaroons are very Jewish - very Jewish cake. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime Jell-O is goyish. Lime soda is very goyish. Trailer parks are so goyish that Jews won't go near them.

The devil doesn't wear prada; I'm clearly in a -- white tee.

He showed the words “chocolate cake” to a group of Americans and recorded their word associations. “Guilt” was the top response. If that strikes you as unexceptional, consider the response of French eaters to the same prompt: “celebration.