Mark Twain Quotes

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

I'm not very happy. I'm frustrated with human beings. I'm the guy who just wants to smack people in the face and say, 'Wake up!'

By-and-large, these are families that are just waiting to get out of here. They are frustrated; I would be, too. I get frustrated at the cash register counter when the paper runs out.

The satirical direction I have chosen is an indication of my disappointment in man, which is the opposite way of saying that I have high expectations for the human race.

I really am disappointed when I run into people who are angry I'm leaving office.

For God's sake bring me a large Scotch. What a bloody awful country.

There are a few things that make me angry. Mostly things not going my way.

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

I used to think that nails-down-a-chalkboard was the worst sound in the world. Then I moved on to people-eating-cereal-on-the-phone. But only this week did I stumble across the rightful winner: it's the sound of a baggage carousel coming to a grinding halt, having reunited every passenger on your flight with their luggage, except for you.

I have just gotten to the point where I have been very, very disgusted with the fact that nothing is going on down there.

It's pointless to get all huffy about stuff.

The more I watch politicians in action, it just makes me angry.

I get annoyed a lot with things.

It's pretty frustrating waiting for anything.

There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!

Humans are stupid. I'm ashamed to be human.

Football, bloody hell!

When I read passages like this, I want to look for the nearest wall to bang my head against.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers

People never think anything is anything really. I'm getting goddam sick of it.

All men are a disappointment. No matter what anyone says.

I thank you for nothing, because I understand nothing.

I knew it... I'm surrounded by assholes!

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.

Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.