Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

One of the things that I've worked my way out of doing, and I knew that I needed to, was comparing myself to other people. That just poisins everything. It all of a sudden dtermines even clothes you're going to choose to wear that day or what you're going to do with a music production or how you're going to sequence it. It poisinseverything. Your real job in the world is to be you. Comparing yourself to other people I think that hurt me more than anything. Allowing myself to go there so much in my head hurt me.

Comparison is a brutal assault upon one's self. Once you compare yourself to someone else, what you're really saying is that what you're made of isn't good enough.

Throughout life, from childhood, from school until we die, we are taught to compare ourselves with another; yet when I compare myself with another I am destroying myself.

There will always be somebody more successful, more beautiful, more talented. You have to realize, you're not running their race. You're running your race.

Don't judge yourself by someone else's standards. You will always lose

As you get older, it's always a process of self-love, learning how to really do that for yourself instead of trying to find it outside yourself.

Total self acceptance is empowering. It means allowing others to see you as they choose, without being offended.

There are always going to be things you don’t like about yourself or reasons to compare yourself to others, but once you realize that you only get one you, it’s best to just love yourself.

I find that I'm not as worried anymore about what other people think. That's a comfortable place to be. And I'm starting to let go of the feeling that I need to push myself to do things I don't want to do - an impulse that has always been linked to the feeling that I'm not enough.

There is always one thing to be grateful for - that one is one's self and not somebody else.

You can't go around being what everyone wants you to be, living your life through other people's rules, and expect to be happy and have inner peace.

I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.

One of the biggest things I've done is learn how to love myself, flaws and all. Even the things I don't like about myself, I accept. People have made fun of me and made me self-conscious about talking so softly, for example, but I accept that as who I am and I'm not changing it for anybody. I'm at peace with who I am now, and once you've achieved that, all the other stuff disappears.

You can never be happy when you're constantly comparing yourself to others. Keep your eyes ahead.

Most people go through life using up half their energy trying to protect a dignity they never had

I have to introduce the part of me that feels like a winner to the part of me convinced I’m a loser, and see if they can’t agree to exist somewhere closer to the middle.

I'm losing myself trying to compete with everyone else, instead of just being me.

I'm realizing, you don't need to change anything about yourself. This is who you are, and it's okay. That's daring.

I have no self-respect. But can a man of acute sensibility respect himself at all?

The labor of self-love is a heavy one indeed. Think whether much of your sorrow has not arisen from someone speaking slightingly of you. As long as you set yourself up as a little god to which you must be loyal, how can you hope to find inward peace?

One thing I've learned is be comfortable in your skin, and more importantly, be comfortable in your shoes.

Self-acceptance begets acceptance from others, which begets even deeper, more genuine self-acceptance. It can be done. But no one is going to bestow it on you. It is a gift only you can give yourself.

I can be happy with who I am, not what I should be, or what I might have been, or what someone tells me I must be.

Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect. When we don't have that, we shape-shift and turn into chameleons; we hustle for the worthiness we already possess.

Love your self's self where it lives.