David Sedaris Quotes

There is a sense of shame that comes with unemployment. I didn't become a movie star, and I was a size 14.

I didn't have a job because nobody would hire me. My friends were getting hired, and I couldn't even get a job interview. That really rocked my self-esteem because I didn't understand what I did wrong on those job applications.

In my first few years as an actor, I took one terrible TV job after another. But even as I laughed off my awful roles and made fun of myself to friends, my work made me cringe - I dreaded anyone's seeing it. I was crushed that I wasn't doing anything I was proud of.

A lot of times, you just don't get the jobs you want to get.

I think it was 1987 - something like that - or '86, and I thought, 'When you go equity and you're gonna get paid, you'll finally be able to make a living.' But it was not to be so. I always bartended and waited tables so I ended up not doing theater for about a year because nobody would hire me.

For a long time, I felt like I failed myself, my career, and my record company.

I had spent four years at Le Havre, and when they told me they weren't keeping me, because I wasn't good for the second division, that hit me hard.

I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot that way.

What I would hope to do is painting, because I don't think I'm qualified for anything else. My last job would be babysitting, so I don't think Starbucks would even hire me.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

When you're fired, you're rejected. It's as simple as that.

No one wanted to hire me. No newspaper, television station, television network that I worked for ever wanted to hire me.

I'm afraid to fail again.

It's a terrifying thing to be perhaps 16 or 17 and feel like you are a failure and a has-been.

I auditioned in Chicago for Juilliard and didn't get in. I was basically living in a back room of my parents' house, paying rent and not doing anything with my life. I'd like to say it was patriotic to join the Marines, but it was also that I was doing nothing honorable with my life and spending too much time at McDonald's.

When I came out of high school, my objective in life was to get a job selling used cars, but after trying for two weeks, nobody would hire me.

I was writing full time after quitting a job as a high school English teacher, and I hadn't been able to sell anything, and my bank account was down to zero, and all of my friends were like 'What are you doing in the basement, when are you going to get a real job?', and my parents thought I'd completely lost it.

There's nothing wrong with being fired.

Being out of a job can erode people's confidence and their sense of possibility; and employers, often unfairly, tend to take long-term unemployment as a signal that something is wrong.

Getting fired was always a big deal to me. It's a bit like having someone break up with you.

I've had way more rejections than I've had jobs.

I felt a failure because I couldn't sustain myself from what I earned from my writing. My day jobs were what mattered, and it was hard to even get those because universities wouldn't hire me as a real writer.

I have all this time between projects, and I'm not so sure that's a healthy thing. It's scary, because at 36 I'm woefully unqualified for anything else.

The unions used to sell security. They can’t deliver any more.

One of the defining experiences of my life came in the mid-1980s. After working for two years as a geologist in Colorado, I lost my job and my career during that long recession.