Heywood Broun Quotes

I will do just as you wish,' said no cat ever.

It is a difficult matter to gain the affection of a cat. He is a philosophical, methodical animal, tenacious of his own habits, fond of order and neatness, and disinclined to extravagant sentiment. He will be your friend, if he finds you worthy of friendship, but not your slave.

Cats are independent, by which I mean smart.

But if you really want to learn about life, get a cat. The way I think people should relate to animals is with a cat. Because the world is his.

Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat's personality is never bet on a human's. He demands acceptance on his own terms.

It occurred to me that cats were being held back a little bit. I thought, 'I'll give the cat human thoughts and feelings but not be apologetic for it. That would be very catlike.'

The great charm of cats is their rampant egotism, their devil-may-care attitude toward responsibility, their disinclination to earn an honest dollar.

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

A cat can never be well-trained because they're too independent.

It doesn't do to be sentimental about cats; the best ones don't respect you for it

Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven.

She comes to me when she wants to be fed. And after I feed her -- guess what -- she's off to wherever she wants to be in the house, until the next time she gets hungry. She's smart enough to know she can't feed herself. She's actually a very smart cat. She gets loved. She gets adoration. She gets petted. She gets fed. And she doesn't have to do anything for it, which is why I say this cat's taught me more about women, than anything my whole life.

Cats - a standing rebuke to behavioural scientists . . . least human of all creatures.

I’m a cat. We aren’t required to make sense.

The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends.

A cat never discusses his business with humans, not even Princesses. A cat never explains and never apologizes. A cat never alibis. You must accept a cat as it is and for what it is and not expect more than the pleasure of its company.

Cat said, 'I am not a friend, and I am not a Servant. I am the Cat who walks by himself, and I wish to come into your Cave.'

Sunday, January 27, 1884. -- There was another story in the paper a week or so since. A gentleman had a favourite cat whom he taught to sit at the dinner table where it behaved very well. He was in the habit of putting any scraps he left onto the cat's plate. One day puss did not take his place punctually, but presently appeared with two mice, one of which it placed on its master's plate, the other on its own.

In my experience women are like cats. When you don't want them you can't get rid of them and when you do want them it's like trying to pick up lint with a magnet.

Furthermore, unlike Man's other great good friend the horse, the cat is no sweating serf of Man. The only labor she condescends to perform is to catch mice and rats, and that's fun.

A cat understands how to be pleasant in the morning. He doesn't talk.

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

No favor can win gratitude from a cat.

A well-trained cat doesn't exist because a cat remains a cat.

You cannot expect everything even from the friendliest cat. It is still a cat.