ANNE BEATTS

The great thing is that I'm getting my revenge on everybody who treated me badly in high school. The bad thing is I had to go back to high school to do it.

I have a theory about American men -- I think they think women are boys who don't know how to throw a ball very well. American women are forced into the role of being men without penises, of being men who haven't quite been able to make it. If women don't want to be pussycats, then they get forced into the role of being almost as good as men. Which is lousy.

I just wanted to fit in as a teenager, but it was hopeless.

I'm often accused of 'going too far,' but I recognize that behind my desire to shock is an even stronger desire to evade the 'feminine' stereotype: 'You say women are afraid of mice? I'll show you! I'll eat the mouse!

If you think of the people who are funny in your life, you'll note it's not because they tell jokes, it's because of their character. If you develop characters, then you'll know them, and you'll know how they'll speak. The comedy will come out of the character.

A friend is someone you can call in the middle of the night when your man is gone, or you wish he would go, or you suspect your cellulite is winning - or even just to prove to yourself that there is someone you can call in the middle of the night.

If you want to write for T.V. and movies, you will be subjected to kind and unkind criticism. You had better get used to it and develop a shell.

I was attracted to people who were funny because I wanted to be in that world.

There was this real fear in doing 'Square Pegs' after getting such a fast ride to glory on 'Saturday Night Live'. I was afraid that the word would be 'peaks early, fails to live up to promise.'

In some ways, what I need is a wife.

The great thing is that I'm getting my revenge on everybody who treated me badly in high school. The bad thing is I had to go back to high school to do it.

There was this real fear in doing 'Square Pegs' after getting such a fast ride to glory on 'Saturday Night Live'. I was afraid that the word would be 'peaks early, fails to live up to promise.'

I just wanted to fit in as a teenager, but it was hopeless.

There are some famous people, and I've met them, who you might think are great, and then you meet them, and you discover that they not only have feet but heads of clay.

If you think of the people who are funny in your life, you'll note it's not because they tell jokes, it's because of their character. If you develop characters, then you'll know them, and you'll know how they'll speak. The comedy will come out of the character.

If you want to write for T.V. and movies, you will be subjected to kind and unkind criticism. You had better get used to it and develop a shell.

I was attracted to people who were funny because I wanted to be in that world.

In some ways, what I need is a wife.

The wonderful thing about Gilda Radner was that she was not a person who disappointed.

I was lucky that when Lorne Michaels came looking for women comedy writers, there weren't too many in New York at the time. I was at the top of a very short list. I think that was all good fortune.

If you want to do something, try it! The worst anyone you ask for help can do is say no.

I'm often accused of 'going too far,' but I recognize that behind my desire to shock is an even stronger desire to evade the 'feminine' stereotype: 'You say women are afraid of mice? I'll show you! I'll eat the mouse!

A friend is someone you can call in the middle of the night when your man is gone, or you wish he would go, or you suspect your cellulite is winning - or even just to prove to yourself that there is someone you can call in the middle of the night.

I have a theory about American men -- I think they think women are boys who don't know how to throw a ball very well. American women are forced into the role of being men without penises, of being men who haven't quite been able to make it. If women don't want to be pussycats, then they get forced into the role of being almost as good as men. Which is lousy.