ALAN JAY LERNER

It's not a pretty face, I grant you. But underneath its flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

You write a hit the same way you write a flop.

Men die but an idea does not.

With a little bit of luck, you'll never work!

Why can't a woman be more like a man?

An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him.

Coughing in the theater is not a respiratory ailment. It is a criticism.

A schedule so tight that it would only work if I didn't sleep on Monday nights.

Back home everyone said I didn't have any talent. They might be saying the same thing here but it sounds better in French.

Don't let it be forgot That once there was a spot For one brief shining moment That was known as Camelot

You see what happens today. Women act like men and want to be treated like women.

We met at nine We met at eight I was on time No, you were late Ah yes! I remember it well.

We used to say that inside Cecil Beaton there was another Cecil Beaton sending out lots of little Cecils into the world. One did the sets, another did the costumes. A third took the photographs. Another put the sketches in an exhibition, then into magazines, then in a book.

The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.

Mud can make you prisoner and the plains can make you dry. Snow can burn your eyes but only people make you cry.

All to often, however, what she [the woman] does want is the man she hopes she will make out of the man she already has.

For a painter, the Mecca of the world for study, for inspiration, and for living is here on this star called Paris. Just look at it. No wonder so many artists have come here and called it home. Brother, if you can't paint in Paris, you'd better give up and marry the boss's daughter.

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; Eternally noble, historically fair; Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat. Why can't a woman be like that?

Pleasure without joy is as hollow as passion without tenderness.

England still will be here without you.

I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things I've never done before.

There's a smile on my face for the whole human race.