Unwanted Surprises Quotes

Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.

Be careful going in search of adventure - it's ridiculously easy to find.

Sadly, I'm one of those people who emotionally puts things off and then gets caught very blindsided at the end.

Unsolicited surprise requests from strangers are essentially guaranteed to be met with a negative response.

The reason my management get upset with me the most is that they don't know what's going to come out my mouth.

Disappointments are to the soul what a thunderstorm is to the air.

I hate turbulence in life, but also on planes.

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

All the kids in school taunted me, 'Your dad's going to jail,' and I believed my parents when they said no it wouldn't happen. Then one day I was driving into school with him, which was weird because my mom always took us. And he was like, 'yeah, I'm going to jail.'

Mondays are just like Sam from Clarissa Explains it All. They just show up through the damn window whenever the hell they feel like it.

There are two phone calls parents don't ever want to get from their children. No. 1 is, 'I'm in prison. Come fetch me.' And No. 2 is, 'I've written a novel... and it's set in your hometown.'

Do not ask for what you will wish you had not got.

I receive underwear - some clean, some not. No joke. My assistant who helps me with my fan mail constantly threatens to quit because of what we get sent.

A letter is an unannounced visit, the postman the agent of rude surprises. One ought to reserve an hour a week for receiving letters and afterwards take a bath.