From the age of 14, I remember thinking I wanted to be a comedian. But that was like saying I wanted to be an astronaut. It felt like a million miles away, something I could never do, but would be great to.
To want to become angels while we are still on earth ... is ridiculous.
We want to appeal to everyone and get rich quick. We want to be millionaires. I've got this plan to buy Tasmania you see.
The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for the rest of your life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do.
But one may say something and yet not be able to do it. Try, for instance, lifting yourself up by the bootstraps.
What had happened was this. When still young, I had gotten the idea from somewhere that I might be able to write... Maybe the deadly notion came from liking to read so much. Maybe I was in love with the image of being a writer. Whatever. It had been a really bad idea. Because I couldn't write, at least not by the bluntly and frequently expressed standards of anyone in a position to offer any encouragement and feedback.
I wanted to become a model out of delusion. It was always something that I wanted to do, I just never thought that I would have the opportunity.
The only thing I daydreamed about was being an opera singer. But I was so skinny and so pathetic that that sort of wasn't going to happen.
What I want for Christmas is to be a Japanese pop star. [Laughs] Santa can't exactly put that under the tree, but I'm hoping that some magic will happen overseas.
Prometheus is reaching out for the stars with an empty grin on his face.
The preserve of ambition and folly in pursuit of illusion, or delusion.
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
I always dreamt of being a basketball player. A dream that only I believed in.
Me playing for the Knicks is not realistic.
I will lose twenty pounds like... I can lose ten... I have. I can lose ten in a week and a few days.
The symbol of all art is the Prism. The goal is unrealism. The method is destructive. To break up the white light of objective realism, into the secret glories which it contains.
What can you conceive more silly and extravagant than to suppose a man racking his brains, and studying night and day how to fly?
My family was always really encouraging, but acting was always something I thought was a bit of a pipe dream.
You can't build a substantial V out of turtles!
In old times people used to try and square the circle; now they try and devise schemes for satisfying the Irish nation.
With 'SNL,' it's such an iconic institution. Throughout my 20s or maybe even in middle school or high school, it never felt like a real thing. It felt so distant, and I never imagined I could do that.
I told everybody that I was going to be an actress in Hollywood one day. People looked at me like I was crazy.
I had this vague notion that one day I might be editor of 'Vogue China.' It was a bizarre ambition, as I didn't speak a word of Chinese. There were flaws in my plan, admittedly.
I told my boss, 'Thank you - but I'm not going to be here tomorrow. I'm going to pursue my career as a boxer.' I remember the woman actually laughed at me. She giggled and said, 'Boxing? Well, good luck.'
I would love very much to win a medal at the Olympics for myself, by my own performance. But that will never happen.
