I never meant to be an actress.
I didn't look up and say, "Oh, man, if I learn how to play a guitar I could make not much money, but I'd make a decent living like Eric Clapton or somebody." There wasn't nothing like that out there.
Most people ended up, after only a couple of months, so far away from where they'd intended to go, stuck in some barbed underbrush of a quagmire when they'd meant to head straight to the ocean.
I'm inhabiting a life I'm not supposed to be in... and at certain times in my life, I have felt a wrongness. And not a moral wrongness but a sense that this isn't what I was born to be doing.
My film career was never planned.
At the very least, we want everything to go on hold for a while because there is this feeling that we're heading down a path in a way that we never, ever intended when we were 18 and dreaming of what life would be like.
A life I didn't choose chose me: even my tools are the wrong ones for what I have to do.
Writing happened to me. I didn't decide to start writing or to be a writer. I never wanted to be a writer.
Our life is managed from behind the scenes: we are actors in dramas that we cannot interpret. Of almost no decisive event can we say: this was our own choosing. We happen upon careers, necessity pushing, blind inclination pulling. If we stop to think we are amazed that we should be what we are.
The career of an esthete was nothing I ever intended.
