Seeing bored-looking fans staring at you while you DJ is about as horrible as it gets.
There is one thing that freezes a musician more than the deadliest physical cold, and that is the spiritual chill of an unresponsive audience!
Early on with Squeeze, we played the Hope & Anchor with U2. Three people turned up. Then two left. Then the last person left. That's the least-attended show I've ever done.
One of my least favourite gigs was a festival. There weren't many people there and they were all talking.
I really didn't want to enter the UFC in a fight that nobody really cared about or where people thought I was just going to whoop some guy.
The worst thing for me when I go to a concert is a whole bunch of ballads. You get bored.
Every band has an 'off' night once in a while - that's gonna happen.
Believe me, you don't want to play to an audience of seven in a village hall in Cumbernauld.
