Unconventional Response Quotes

I've been known to throw watermelons, backstage, at people who are giving me news I don't want to hear. But I never aim for the head.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

I got a parking ticket one time in L.A. and I was furious about it. I was trying to prove a point to the guy who gave it to me and I put it in my mouth and chewed it up. And the guy just kept watching me, like, "Yeah?" He didn't think I was going to finish the job. So then I swallowed it. The good news is that paper is not a big deal if you eat it.You'd be full, but you could eat the phone book. So that was the weirdest thing: a parking ticket.

One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

But Hazael only said, "I brought you a present." Liraz took the flower, looked at it, and then a Hazael, expressionless. And then she ate it. She chewed the flower and swallowed it. "Hmm," said Hazael. "Not the usual response." "Oh, do you give flowers often?" "Yes," he said. He probably did. Hazael had a way of enjoying life in spite of the many restrictions they lived under, being soldiers, and worse, being Misbegotten. "I hope it wasn't poisonous," he said lightly. Liraz just shrugged. "There are worse ways to die.

God always answers prayer, sometimes with a yes, sometimes with a no and sometimes with a 'You've got to be kidding!'

I steeled myself for the next response. I knew it was going to be one of the Zen life lessons. [...] Instead he kissed me.

Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.

It is weird. People will say, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And I'll say, 'Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you.' And the people who are walking around with me for the first time will say, 'I don't understand what happened. Somebody just told you they love you. I don't even understand what that means.'

If they ask you to stand still, you should dance.