Secure Attachment Quotes

The roots of a child's ability to cope and thrive, regardless of circumstance, lie in that child's having had at least a small, safe place (an apartment? a room? a lap?) in which, in the companionship of a loving person, that child could discover that he or she was lovable and capable of loving in return. If a child finds this during the first years of life, he or she can grow up to be a competent, healthy person.

Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.

There's healthy attachment, like with a mother and child. It's biologically part of our survival.

Affection can no more spoil a child than the sun could be put out by a bucket of gasoline.

Here I am not the one to throw out. No one steals my warmth and shoes because I am small. No one handles my backside. No one whinnies like sheep or goat because I drop in fear and weakness. No one screams at the sight of me. No one watches my body for how it is unseemly. With you my body is pleasure is safe is belonging. I can never not have you have me.

It is not possible to 'spoil' a child with love and affection...a child needs all the love and affection it can possibly get.

The invisible bond that gives the baby rein to discover his place in the world also brings the creeping baby back to home base....In this way he recharges himself. He refuels on the loving energies that flow to him from his mother. Then he's off for another foray of adventure and exploration.

Trust grows when babies and mothers establish that they can find each other again after the inevitable moments of losing touch. It is not the goodness of the mother or the relationship per se that is the basis for trust; it is the ability of mother and baby together to repair the breaks in their relationship that builds a safe house for love.

To be a good enough parent one must be able to feel secure in one's parenthood, and one's relation to one's child...The security of the parent about being a parent will eventually become the source of the child's feeling secure about himself.

In a baby's first months, the earliest patterns of intimacy or distrust are forever grooved into his soul.

Let the child see Mama and Daddy both at least once a day. Never quarrel or argue in front of a baby or a child-it destroys security.

I'm excited to just have somebody that I can protect. Someone I can make sure is superloved and never really experiences the turmoil that I went through with my family, to just have a really loving environment that grows intelligent and in love and breathes happiness and productivity.

What are the determinative factors in the early training of the child which assures that it will be placid and contented, unaggressive and non-initiatory, non-competitive and responsive, warm, docile, and trusting?

Learning how to have 'healthy' attachments sounds easy, but in fact, for someone like me who had damaged early relationships, it's like learning to be fluent in Chinese.

The bond between a parent and child is the primary bond, the foundation for the rest of the child's life. The presence or absence of this bond determines much about the child's resiliency and what kind of adult they will grow up to be.

A love of learning has a lot to do with learning that we are loved.

I have the happiest, most confident babies, and I know it's because they feel that strong love from their parents.

My sister and I know our lives could have been different - radically, unthinkably, irretrievably different - if we had not been adopted. We might have found ourselves in homes without love, stability or kindness. We might have found ourselves in care for much longer, without the secure attachment that being cradled in a mother's arms brings.

Baby-carrying means your hearts are close together. It's a very intense and beautiful way to bond with your baby, very intimate. It's also easier than a stroller.

If you don't feel safe as a child, you can't learn.

Attachment to a baby is a long-term process, not a single, magical moment. The opportunity for bonding at birth may be compared to falling in love - staying in love takes longer and demands more work.

My theory is, 'Happy mommy, happy baby.'

I credit my parents for many things that had never seemed remarkable when I was growing up, and one of those things is how nonthreatened they were by my constant search for backup parents - other mothers and fathers would have bristled at this, but they never did. So I was always looking for other parental stand-ins, and I always found them.

A boy or girl who knows that love abounds at home will not resent well-deserved punishment. One who is unloved or ignored will hate any form of discipline.

I've become sort of an accidental advocate for attachment parenting, which is a style of parenting that... basically, the way mammals parent and the way people have parented for pretty much all of human history except the last 200 years or so.